Blossoms of the Dark

CLXIII Shouto: Marigold

Trigger Warning:

- talk about trauma

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God, I wish I was anywhere but here.

Specifically, I wish I were in the gazebo with Selene, embracing her.

But responsibilities cannot be avoided.

Endeavor has been discharged from the hospital after almost a month, and I am fulfilling my obligation as a son to welcome him home. That last word is enough to make me scoff.

So when the subject of my so-called obligation arrives at the threshold of the dining room, my features are already schooled into nonchalance. I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much his battle affected me. Fuyumi praises Dad for his effort, an obvious attempt to ease the tense atmosphere. I swear, it's so tangible that it could be sliced with a knife. When Sis says my name, I take the opposite cue. "That's ... a nasty scar you've got there," I remark while slurping cold soba. It really is. A patchwork of red and pink scar tissue running from his forehead, around his left eye, and down to his chin. I take another audible slurp as I observe him for his reaction. Natsuo copies me, too. And Fuyumi chastises us to behave ourselves. We don't want to, though. He isn't worth it. The fact that Dad can hear the scolding only makes our resolve stronger.

All of a sudden, Natsuo rises. "Sorry, Sis," he says. "I just can't do this." I watch his figure cross the room and step over the threshold when Endeavor stops him, telling him to say what is on his mind. That is when Natsuo snaps. All that pent-up rage inside him explodes like magma from a volcano. He seethes, "That's rich, coming from the guy who wouldn't even look me in the eye for all these years. You've got some nerve, you know that? It's funny, I had no idea soba was Shouto's favorite food until today. You took special care to never let us, your 'failures' into his life, after all." Instantly, I am reminded of an old memory where I watched my siblings play with a ball, wanting to join them, but Dad dragged me away for training. Bro continues, "For whatever reason, Mom and Sis both seem to have no problem with forgiving you. But as far as I am concerned, that crazy bastard we knew all too well is still going strong! They are acting like you've changed, but you haven't changed a bit!

"You completely neglected us and left us to listen to Mom screaming and Shouto crying. Not to mention what happened to Big Bro Touya ... You going off and beating up some strong villain doesn't make all that disappear, dammit!" A jolt passes through me when Natsuo slams his fist against the doorframe. "And here you are, deciding now's the time to have a change of heart! You just one-sidedly try to come back into our lives! IT MAKES ME SICK! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW ANY OF US FEEL?"

Dad takes the rebuke with surprising ease. Very calmly, he says, "From now on, I'm going to face my past and atone for everything I've done." The placation falls on deaf ears, though. Bro makes a sarcastic remark and thanks Fuyumi angrily before stomping away.

Meanwhile, Sis laments the entire situation. She grabs my arm holding the soba bowl and shakes vigorously, complaining how she thought the Todorokis could be a normal family because I got into U.A. and reached out to Mom, Dad started interacting with his other children, and Mom grew happier. She was hopeful.

"I've never seen Natsuo get that emotional before," I comment after I take another slurp. Suddenly, the noise from the TV catches our attention. The battle between Endeavor and the noumu is still the hottest topic trending online. Every time a criticism from the public is broadcasted, the footage of the boy who rooted for Endeavor is displayed with positive feedback from the other half of the public. Natsuo made his opinion clear. Fuyumi expressed her feelings. Now it's my turn. I put aside my petulant behavior and recall what Selene told me. That taking into account all the years of trauma, it was my choice whether to give Dad a chance at redemption. Dad and Endeavor are the same person. I know that now; I just have to voice it to materialize it. Never breaking my gaze from the TV screen, I open my mouth to speak. "Endeavor ... the hero. He's amazing. He's remarkable. But pretty much everything Natsuo said was right on the money, I think. I still haven't forgiven you for how you tormented Mom. That's why ... I want to see what kind of dad you'll become from here on out." I look away from the TV and envision the embodiment of moonlight. I continue, "One small inspiration really can completely change a person. I know that better than anyone."