I finish the final touches of the playground project.
The structures are appealing.
The equations are correct.
Hanada and I are good to go for tomorrow.
With nothing more to do, I change into my nightclothes and get in bed, ready to read the next chapter of my manga.
It's a multigenre manga: historical fiction, fantasy, romance, humor, action, thriller. Apparently, it's the manga version of a book trilogy - The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare. I saw Hanada once reading the second book of the trilogy. The series title seemed familiar to me when she told me the name; I could have sworn that I saw it once while perusing the aisles of the manga section in my favorite bookstore. I was right. I bought the entire manga series without even reading the synopsis (something I never do). Maybe I wanted to surprise her. Or impress her. I bet she didn't know there was a manga adaptation of one of her favorite novel series, even though she says all series are her favorite series.
And I can see why she likes it so much. I researched the books and found out that it was a prequel to series to The Last Hours series. All that Shadowhunter and Downworlder business finally made sense to me. Some characters are sweet and must be protected at all costs, others are hilarious and should deserve standing ovations for their comedy, and some are just so, so loathsome. I was surprised that there were assholes even nastier than my dear old Dad; he's like an angel compared to them.
Immediately as the thought forms, I crush it. I should be focusing on the plot when reading, not my family issues. I arrive at the part where Jem says, "'Dreams can be dangerous things.'"
Suddenly I remember the first time I saw her. The lucid dream. It should have been nothing; just something that I would wake up confused to in the morning and would forget about by noon. But no. Something so innocent led me down this path. And I can't even complain. A dream of desolation brought me joy. A dream turned my life upside-down in an unimaginable way. It gave me something to look forward to each day. It made me forget about my anger and embrace peace for a moment. It brought light into my dark, dreary existence.
By some miracle, mine brought me blessings. But by some portent, they can bring curses.
It makes me afraid.
So much happened in two months, it feels almost surreal. If not for the flowers and drawings in my nightstand, I would have felt like I just tripped into a rabbit hole into Wonderland: mayhem and hysteria.
An outlandish dream.
But it's not a dream. Not entirely. I am in Wonderland: the lucid dream was my rabbit hole, Hanada was every fantastical discovery. Yes, she is pandemonium and madness. But she is also serenity and harmony. I can't help but make a connection between Hanada and the three protagonists of the manga series: Jem, Tessa, and Will. She has all the sweetness and gentleness of Jem, the intellectualism and patience of Tessa, and the wit and determination of Will. At the same time, she is ruthless, relentless, vindictive, maniacal, lethal, and demonic. Just like everything twisted in Wonderland, she's the amalgamation of everything contrary.
And yet, she's become a cause for my growth. Maybe she'll help me find my identity.
Hanada-chan ...
Indeed, dreams can be dangerous things.
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Image URL: https://i.quotev.com/img/q/u/19/12/23/w7o5lyagef.jpg
Citations:
"Dreams can be dangerous things." - Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare
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Blossoms of the Dark
RomantizmHanada Selene. Todoroki Shouto. Two troubled souls living troubled lives. But they somehow find solace within each other. They first met in a dream, and later again in real life. Both of them were initially wary of each other. But with time, the...
