Doctor who one shots/imagines BOOK 2🌏

new years eve (13)

"I've seen it, Yaz. I'm not an idiot, I see the way you've been looking at her. You love her." I lean against the console, as I glanced back at her. "That's ridiculous, y/n. It isn't like that." She sighed, as I looked away. "I can't be here, Yaz. Not anymore. This isn't normal. None of this is normal- it's all twisted and broken, it's poison." I ran a hand through my hair, as she watched me. "I swear to you, it isn't what you think." I take a breath, "So, tell me what it is." I look at her again, "She told me that she's in love with someone else. I had a feeling too." I frowned, my heart was shattered at the thought of her loving anyone who wasn't me. "She loves someone else?" She nodded. "Oh, god." I shut my eyes tightly, as the tears hit my eyes. "Listen- I swear that it isn't what you think, y/n. I'd never do that to you. You're my friend." I wipe my tears, "Where is she?" I grab my jacket, "She had to get some books from the library. I guess she'll be back." I nodded, "Good, well it'll be easier to just slip away." I began to walk to the doors. "Y/n?" I stopped, her voice brought me back into the light, just when I felt like I was slipping. I turn back, "Where are you going?" I gave Yaz this look, as she created a diversion. "What book did you get?" She asked, but her eyes didn't leave me. "Where are you going?" She repeated, as she looked confused. "Don't make this any harder than it has to be." She frowned, "Make it harder? What are you talking about?" I watched her, so closely.

"I'm talking about this. The adventures, the running away from danger.. it's just got a bit boring for me, Doctor. And I need to go back to my life. The one I had before you. I'm sorry it had to come down to this." She looked crushed, but I needed to make this easier. "Don't lie to me." Yaz looked between us, it was already awkward enough. "I'll be back later. You need to talk." She left the TARDIS, as I lean against the railing. "I've been lying to myself for years, Doctor. It's been eating away at me for too long. No more." She slowly walked down the steps, her eyes never leaving mine. "You wouldn't pack it all up with some stupid excuse, y/n. That isn't you. It's all lies." I wipe my tears away, as I watched her closely. "And what about the lies that you've kept from me? The secrets that you just can't seem to tell us?" She backed up slightly, she was mad. "What is your problem?" I take a breath. "You will never understand what I feel, Doctor. Never. Don't try and get in my head." She shook her head, "Do you think that maybe I keep things from you to protect you? If you knew who I truly was, you'd never look at me again." Anger laced her words, as I grip the railing. "Your legacy could break a thousands planets." I whispered, her gaze set back to mine. "What did you just say?" I blink the tears away, "You heard me." She turned away, "Why do you want to hurt me? What did I ever do to you?" I knew I could be honest, I could just spill the last five years of secrets that I'd kept from her. "Enough."

"No, y/n. You tell me what I've done to make you so bitter, why are you so mad?" She snapped, "You never looked at me the same way." I whispered, as her eyes became glossed over. "What? What are you talking about?" I knew I'd gone in too deep this time. "You've ruined my life, Doctor. In the best way possible. And I let you into my heart- why won't you just leave?" My voice cracking, as the tears fell down her face. A face I could never touch again. "Why are you talking like that? Like it's love?" I shut my eyes. "Because it is!" I screamed, as I broke down into tears. I lean against the door as I turn my back to her. "Y/n." I felt her arms around my waist, her forehead leaning on my back. "I can't let you love me, Doctor. I can't do it- it's just going to break us. It's going to kill me." She gripped me tighter. "Don't go." She whispered, as I take a second, I needed to catch my breath. "You've said it too many times. You can't be loved. And you won't let anyone into your hearts- I understand that. That's why I didn't tell you. Or anyone. Or even myself." I look back at her, as she sighed softly. "Did you think it would change how I look at you?" I frowned, now confused. "It changes everything." She shakes her head, "It changes nothing, y/n. I still adore you. I still love you. Even if it means that I never touch you.. or kiss you. It doesn't mean that I want you to go. I need you." I wipe my eyes, as I looked down at my hands. "It's okay. I understand." I whispered.

"Do you still want to be here?" She asked, I smiled a little sadly. "Yeah. I guess I do." I let go of her hands, as I walked back toward the console. "Doctor." I froze, as she looked back at me. There was a Dalek, it must of transported here. "Y/n. Run." I couldn't move, I couldn't look away. "Exterminate!" I look at her, "No!" She screamed out, as my body hit the ground. I should be dead. Why wasn't I dead? I couldn't move, I couldn't even breathe properly. I could feel my subconscious, in a way. I heard screaming, crying. I couldn't make out what was going on. "Please don't leave me- please." It was like something inside me rebooted, I took a deep breath, as I jolted upright. "Holy shit!" I shouted, as I look around, very confused. "Y/n?" I look at her, shock in her face. "Hi." She grabbed me tightly, hugging me close to her chest as I wrap my arms around her back. "Did you miss me?" I laughed a little, as she held me even tighter. "I'm never letting you go ever again." She whispered.

"Good. Because I don't want you to."