Doctor who one shots/imagines BOOK 2🌏

stay awake, stay alive (11)

"Doctor? What is it?" He seemed very on edge, quiet. It wasn't like him to be so silent, it scared me. "I'm fine. I'm fine, just- give me some time." He'd picked me up after Amy and Rory left, but he hadn't told me where they'd gone. "Are we going to go back for Amy and Rory?" He stopped, he froze and stared at the monitor on the console. I wasn't sure what his issue was, he was angry but also his eyes were so sad. "They're not coming back." His words were beyond cold, I'd never seen him this way before and I wasn't sure how to react. "What do you mean? What happened?" I was trying to be cautious of how I was speaking. "Just- just stop talking." He snapped at me, I look down at my feet. I was starting to feel like I shouldn't of come back. I turn and I went upstairs, going toward the library. I didn't want to cry in front of him, it was awkward and even after being together for years, I wouldn't let him see me cry. Never had. I put in my earphones and shuffle the playlist I was on. I lay down on the couch, as I shut my eyes and I just let the music play out as I try and relax. I felt like my head was spinning, the man I'd spent all these years with didn't want anything to do with me and it was way more painful that I could of imagined. When I woke up again, I check the time and realise it had been about an hour. I take my earphones out and stop the song playing, I look around and realise I was in a bedroom. It wasn't my room. Weird.

It was very plain, but I'd never been here before and I had no memory of coming in here. "What the fuck?" I whispered, the Doctor walked inside and I was very confused. "Doctor, where are we?" He smiled sadly, "This is my bedroom." Oh. Well, at least we hadn't been kidnapped. "Your- your bedroom?" Why did he take me here? He gently sat beside me, taking my hand. "I really need to talk to you. And I need you to be calm for me, okay?" I was worried, he had that look in his eyes and it scared me. "What happened?" He sighed, "Amy and Rory. They- they were killed. By the angels. I tried- I tried to stop them. I tried, y/n. But- I couldn't. They wanted to be together." My heart sunk, as I tried to wrap my head around what he told me. "What?" I whispered, I was so confused how this happened. "Doctor, can we go back? Can't we change this?" He shook his head, as he looked down. "Doctor, I'm so sorry." I felt terrible for him, I couldn't imagine how awful he felt. "Do you want some time alone?" I asked, "No. No, please stay with me. I can't be alone, please don't leave me alone." He begged me, as I wrap my arms around his neck and I held him. I felt his breath against my shoulder as he held me in his arms. He was my best friend in this world, of course I loved him more than life but it wasn't right for me to tell him while he was this vulnerable. It wouldn't of been right at all. "It's going to take some time to heal, Doctor. But I'll be here to help you through this. I promise."

"You've been everything to me for the past five years. I couldn't of got through anything without you beside me." He watched my eyes, as I smiled a little. I wipe his tears away, I kiss his forehead and I take a deep breath. "It's going to be okay. Not right away, but you will be okay. One day. Let yourself heal first." I gently pull away from him, as I held back my tears. I couldn't be with him, not the way I wanted. River was still his wife, it crushed me that he could never know but I had to do what was right. "Thank you, Doctor. For everything. For being a part of me." He frowned, "This sounds like a goodbye, y/n." I take a shaky breath, "No. Not goodbye. I'll never say goodbye to you, but I am saying that I need to go away for a while. But I'll be back, one day. When you've healed and you're okay." He shook his head, "No. No, you can't. I need you. Why are you leaving me like this?" It broke me even more, knowing that walking away would murder me completely. "You aren't alone, Doctor. You have River, you don't need me. Give yourself time to move on, remember me. I'll hold you to that. This isn't the end of us, I'll be back. One day." His eyes filled with hurt, panic. "No!" He grabbed my arms, as he pulled me back into his chest. "Doctor." I whispered. "I love you. Don't leave me. I'm begging you." He admitted, my heart jumped. Did he mean it? "What?" I whispered, "I'm in love with you, y/n. Don't leave me. Say you'll stay with me. Stay with me forever." Our foreheads touched. "Do you mean it?"

"With my entire hearts, I mean it. You make me be the Doctor, I'm not the doctor without you. I love you, stay with me." I look into his eyes, relieved. "I love you, Doctor." He smiled, as he kissed me with so much passion that I almost tripped over. I kiss him back deeply, as he held me in his arms.

And my god, I didn't want it to end.