Doctor who one shots/imagines BOOK 2🌏

the way we did before (13)

"Doctor, we need to talk." I grab her arm, as she looked back at me. "I have nothing to say to you anymore, y/n." I sighed, as I pull her aside, away from everyone else. "What do you want me to say, Doctor? That I don't love you anymore? Because you know what, I don't. After everything you've done to me.. I physically can't love you again." She frowned, as she watched my eyes. "Well, good. We are friends. That's it." I shake my head, "No, doctor. We are not friends anymore. You don't deserve to have me in your life. You don't deserve anything I've given you. You broke my heart. And I won't let you do it again. I won't be another corpse on your list of the dead." I let go of her arm, as I turn and I began to walk back the other way. "Y/n-" she called after me, as I felt the tears hit my eyes, my vision blurring. I ran to hide behind a wall, taking a deep breath as I began to cry. It felt worse this time around, I thought I'd be okay and I'd be strong. But I'm not. I still love her, I lied right to her face but I couldn't stop loving her, my heart needed her. I stood up, as I wipe my tears. "Fuck." I didn't know where to go. "Y/n! Y/n, where are you?" I hear her voice, as I turn my back to her. "Y/n?!" She shouted, as she sighed angrily. "I know you're here. Y/n, I- I can't be without you. Please. I don't want you to go. It- this is different. I lied to you. I lie all the time. I'm in love with you. Please."

What? My heart beat sped up, as I had a glimmer of hope inside me. Did she mean it? Was she serious this time? I watch her closely from behind the wall, she ran her fingers through her hair, I could see how distressed she was. "Please.." she sat down on the ground, as she started to cry. Oh, god. Now I feel bad. "I don't want to be on my own again." She whispered, as I slowly walk up to her and I kneel down beside her. "You're not alone." I gently held onto her hand, when she turned and held me tightly. "Woah, hey.. hey. It's okay. It's okay." I wrap my arms around her tightly as she breathed in almost relief. "I'm so sorry." She whispered, as I kiss her head. "Let's just start over, Doctor." I held her hand tightly, as she leaned against my shoulder. "I know you're struggling, Doctor. I can see it in your face." I watch her eyes, "I miss her, so much." I nodded, as I squeeze her hand. "I know, doctor. I know." I lean back against the wall, as I look up at the sky. "She's dead because of me." I glance back, "Don't say things like that, doctor. She fought until the end.. you couldn't of saved her. It wasn't possible." She wiped her tears away, "I know. But I should of done more to protect her." I stand up, "I can't take you blaming yourself for Yaz's death, doctor. It isn't your fault. None of it was your fault. She's dead. She's gone. I get it.. I loved her too. She was my best friend in this world and I can't-" my voice broke, as she gently cupped my cheeks. "I know." She whispered, she gently pecked my lips. I was a little surprised, but it felt quite nice.

I held onto her hands, as she smiled at me. Like she was proud. And for the first time, I felt love.

I felt like this was what love meant to be.