Doctor who one shots/imagines BOOK 2🌏

watch my heart burn (12)

"I'll be good, I promise. I won't hurt anyone else." Missy looked up at him, the Doctor. My doctor. I look down at the console, as I didn't want to intrude on their conversation. "I want you to apologise to her. To y/n. You can't keep hurting my friends, Missy. It isn't fair." He sighed gently, as she wiped her tears away. "I will. I'll be better- I won't hurt people again. I want to show you I've changed." I glance back at them both, I did feel bad for her but he was right. She tries to grab his hands, but he backed away. They had been together for a long time, longer than I'd known him. More than the universe, but I understood why he was hesitant. "I'm very sorry, y/n. For everything." She watched me from the stairs. "It's okay. I forgive you." I smile sadly, as she looked down. "I'll leave you both to talk." I spoke softly, as I turned and I left the TARDIS. It had been a difficult day, Bill was gone and the tension was high. I take a deep breath as I walked across the street. I lean against the wall, as I sat down to watch the waters edge. "Do you want to talk about it?" I look up, as the Doctor came and sat with me. "Not really." I whispered, as he nodded. "Can I- can I say something, then?" I look at him, "What is it?" He hesitated for a moment. "I don't want to watch you cry anymore." I frowned, confused. "What do you mean?" He gently took my hand. "What's wrong? Why are you so sad?" I look back out at the water. "I wish you'd just forgive her. I wish you'd let someone in."

"And that makes you sad?" I nodded, "Doctor, I don't want you to be alone. I can't stand watching you lose any more people. She's your oldest and dearest friend. Even if she is an enemy. She is one of your people. You are the last two. You need each other." He looked down, as he played with his hands. "What are you trying to tell me, y/n?" I take a deep breath. "She's dead, Doctor. Bill is dead. Clara is dead. How many more ghosts will I walk through until you see mine?" He went silent. "I can't do this again, Doctor. I can't keep watching my friends die. It isn't fair." I stand up, as he did the same. "That's it? You're just going to leave?" I felt frustrated. "You're not hearing me. I can't watch you fall apart when I die, Doctor. Because I know you won't make it alone. You need to be with her, Doctor. For your own sanity." He clenched his jaw. "What, so giving up on me because you think you'll die on me.. is that what we're doing now?" He spoke louder, as I glared at him. "They're all dead because of you!" I shouted, instantly regretting the wording. "Really? Is that what you really believe, y/n? Because if you haven't already figured it out, you could tell me the absolute worst thing in this universe and I'd still forgive you. I'd still let you stay with me because I'm too blindly in love with you to let your words hurt my hearts." I was speechless, as my heart dropped. "What?" I whispered, he turned away from me as I tried to get together my thoughts. "I think you should go home and sleep on this. Just for tonight."

"Goodbye, Doctor." I turn and I walk away from him as I felt his grip on my forearm, turning me to face him. "Don't say that to me. Don't you dare ever say goodbye." I look up into his eyes, as I fought back my tears. "Isn't that what this is?" I whispered, he frowned deeply. "I never want to say goodbye to you ever again, y/n. Don't make me say it." I step back, before I walk away, turning my back on him as I tried my best to keep myself from breaking down. "You can't run away from this. I'll find you, y/n. I'll find you." I heard him speak out, as I turned the corner to catch my breath. Why did it have to hurt like this?

Why couldn't I just stay?

(Part 2?!)