Write A Prisoner

7

January 4th, 2020

Hey Wendy :-)

I wish you all the best for this new year as well ! You're so beautiful, I love the pictures you sent !! Thank you for sending your number also. We have to set a time cause I work from 7am to 4pm my time. Can I call before you go to sleep ?

Holà Jay ! Since we have a time difference of 9 hours then you'll have to call when you finish :-) I can try to stay awake later some days.

Have a good day !!

January 11th, 2020

Jay called me multiple times this week but I picked up none of his calls. First, the exams are killing me and second I just didn't feel like talking. To nobody actually. I do feel quite guilty for ignoring him though.

Randy hasn't sent me any message and it does get me frustated. But I guess I was just another girl to him. It's never been a secret that he is very good looking and I knew I couldn't be the only one he talks to. Especially the way he talks to me, like I was special or something.

Damn. Am I really thinking of two men I never met ? What's wrong with me ?

Everything bothers me these days. Zareen doesn't answer my texts even if I know she's not busy. I mean of course she's a college student just like me and I know she has other friends but we've been close for over 8 years now. We got accepted to two of the most prestigious French universities and we moved in France for that. The only reason why we don't live together is because we couldn't find the place that fit us both : distance from school, rent, welfare... I got a scholarship so it's easier for me but Zareen had to take out a loan. She didn't want help from me though.

I always make sure to spend time with her, even if it means cancelling other plans. But she's starting to put other people first. Not gonna lie, it hurts. I see her distancing herself from me and there's nothing I can do. It might sound stupid but we used to send each other funny tweets on Twitter and we no longer do that. She has time for everybody except me now.

Last time I sent her a message for a girl sleepover. She saw the text and never replied back. I wanted to insist but then I was just like "Fuck it". One thing I don't want to do is chase after people. I haven't sent any other message since that one. We'll see when she hits me up.

February 6th, 2020

Hey Jay, how are you ? I know it's been a while since we talked, sorry about that :-( Every time I thought of sending you a message, I would just postpone it and there we are :-( I hope you're not mad at me... (?) And about the phone, can you just call the number I gave you ?

February 7th, 2020

Wendy I'm never mad at you, I know things can be a little more complicated than what we plan even if our intentions are good so I'm not trippin. But I was a little hurt by the drop of communications if I'm honest with you and myself. I know we started as friends but over the course of time you became a normal and stable part of my life and I found myself catching slight feelings, even if only slight. I noticed what your absence did to me so I'm always willing to welcome you back into my life with open arms :-) I missed you (no lie). I currently don't have money on my phone but I will for sure call you asap when it becomes possible.

Holy shit what just happened ? I read the message again and again with mixed feelings. When did this happen ? I could NEVER plan this.

Well to be honest I didn't know I was "that" important to you. I know we talked a lot but at some point I felt like I was taking a place that wasn't mine and it felt wrong to me. But I'm glad you're not mad :-) And yeah sorry again for all of this, my intention was never to hurt you because I truly care about you.

Yes Wendy you have become that important to me so I just wanted to express that so you would know. I don't want you to think that you're moving in on a space that isn't yours because the position is vacant and I would like for you to occupy it ... :-) just saying. But it does touch my heart a bit now knowing that you care for me also in that way lol. Maybe this can be a turning point in our relationship where we explore more of what we didn't say prior to us now knowing how each other truly feels :-) And you don't have to keep saying sorry babe :-)

Oh my God what did I do ? Is that a joke or something ? That's the wildest misunderstanding I've ever witnessed. I don't want to embarrass him but how can I tell stop to a man without hurting his feelings ?

Ohhh you're so cute, are you trying to make me cry or something ahah. But hmm I want us to take our time you know ? The more we talk the more I trust you but I also can't help myself from being a bit scared of being taken for a fool (not you but people in general). And I'm like the overthinker type so maybe what you say is what every girl you talk to gets. And I mean like do you believe in distance ? Because I live there and you live over there...

No babe I'm not trying to make you cry lol but I do want you to feel and understand the emotions that we both know we contain and been holding off on expressing. I really do admire you being a bit scared when it comes to your heart and love. To me it just shows that you know your worth and if we do grow towards you being my girlfriend it woud be well worth it so the cautious is understood. Wendy look I don't speak like this to every female I come in contact with. That's not my lane to play. But if you really think back to the time we started talking to now, it did take me a while to develop what I feel, which should display a form of authenticity. Whatever pace you want to move at is fine to me babe, I'm not trying to rush you into falling in love with me. I know it takes time. But like I said I had to let you know that I do want to pursue something with you. So we do are out of that friend zone and taking baby steps now :-) And about distance, without sounding like a hopeless romantic but babe love knows no distance and when we put a title on us, I'm willing to work and coordinate it, like from me moving there or just takings trips, you moving here (you once told me you were an American girl at heart) or taking trips. We don't have to put a limit on us :-) Remember that babe.