Write A Prisoner

40

September 6th, 2022

look wen,
I'm not mad at you I know you are too innocent to see the evils of this world. ultimately its my fault because I didn't teach you well enough to foresee the intentions of man, its my job to guide you to kno right from wrong. in all honesty I knew that whole ordeal was too much for you because it was new, I'd never sent anyway to relay messages to you on my behalf for that specific reason but like I said before, it was the only way I had to contact you. the bitch ass correctional officers wouldn't give me my phone book so I didn't have you number, address and I knew I was going to have to sit in the hole for up 90+ days and you would have not heard from me at all and would've thought the worst. so I had him email you off my jpay account first and when you resent your number I had him call but your right, I should have protected you from all that shit. I just wanted you to step up and be like,"don't get none of this shit misconstrued, Dee is daddy. you'd never have a chance at having me! , but on behalf of my king I'll try to find a friend for you because he asked me too."
these niggas be delusional, they'll misinterpret anything so I feel like you should of let it be known that you were for me and me only. when you emailed me and asked if you should add him on jpay I never agreed to that but you did it anyway, without me giving the OK.

but all of that shit is in the past we gone move forward, I still love you, never stopped I was just hurt initially and when you didn't pick up the phone for me that put the icing on the cake, communication is key and when that was disrupted I threw in the towel. but like I said I never seen all off your emails , the prison didn't print them all out, I got most of the but not the most important ones that would of gave me a better understanding. but you still bae and I need you, I don't wanna lose you but loyalty is everything to me.
I'll call you soon, I only get to use the phone twice a week , Tuesdays and Saturdays. so be expecting my call.

see if your other account allows you to set up video visits, I think wwe caught a blessing, if so get bac to me and let me know immediately! and set up at least 10 of them in a row.

I will never stop loving you lil babi, your my responsibility lbs!!! I missed you.

September 7th, 2022

I can't set up video calls love, I received a letter like 2 months ago saying that they were blocked until the end of year because of last time (they apparently didn't like my lil tits). But yeah I'll be waiting for you to call

This being said, I'm not gonna lie, you make it real complicated for me to picture us in the future love :-/ like.. you don't trust me ? You say communication is key and I agree with that, I'm sorry for the drop of communication at some point but I think trust is key also and if there is no trust from your side then how can we make things work ? I really really love you but I feel like I'll always have to be tested or fight to prove you whatever. It triggers my abandonment issues because I feel like you will leave whenever it no longer fits you, you know ? Of course I don't like you being in the hole cause I get zero news but I somehow found a way to deal with that situation and it works. But you're the one always being suspicious so idk maybe I'm doing something wrong ? Like idk Randy my feelings are hurt :-(

I understand his point of view. I understand that I shouldn't have added dude on Jpay to send the message. I get it. I won't do that again. But what's really hard with Randy is the way I always feel tested. Like I don't do that. I gave him my trust. I don't make things up in order for him to "prove" he deserves my time or whatever. But I feel like he's always trying to see my "moves" by putting me in certain situations. That triggers my abandonment issues. 

September 10th, 2022

trust does play a major role, I agree and I understand you are hurt but so was i. there's a reason you don't let me talk to any of your friends right?? I remember what you told me a while ago. you said " I don't like to tell my friends about you because then they will be like' ooh can we talk to him, we want to meet him" and you said thats why you like to keep me a secret because you want me all to yourself. now the same rules apply, like I said before I genuinely believe you didn't know any better. any American female would've known that was a line not to be crossed. even if your intentions were pure, that's just something you don't do. if i tell you to hook one of my homies up with one of your friends then you do just that, get contact info from your friend and they can communicate through each other not through you. I never told you to add dude on jpay you made that decision without my approval and I just found that to be disrespectful. I don't want my girl to be talking to no nigga but me, as far as prisoners are concerned. that's just a big NO where I'm from and I didn't like it so if you can't understand that than you don't understand me and if thats the case then maybe you are right about it being hard to see a future between us.

you hurt me, I thought I lost my bitch to a goofy ass nigga. and by you declining my calls didn't help the situation any more. so yea' we both were hurt but I decided to move forward and not dwell on those ill emotions which I clearly stated in my last email and you need to do the same or this shit just gone be a toxic emotional mess. I love you with all my heart but there's no progress in living in the past. we now understand each other a lil better so let's not make those same mistakes again that's all we can do. I want you more than life it self and we were going on an uphill trajectory until that shit happened. so we going to get back to that, I got no anger in my heart about that shit no more its a clean slate , you need to let that shit go too. okay?? I'd never abandon you. so get that out of your mind !

you don't want to move to america so we can be together, ive been fighting for that since day one but you barley even acknowledge it. I've got a year and some change left so we are going to start figuring some things out if you're really serious about US.

September 11th, 2022

I understand love, I'm sorry, I won't do that again. I just needed reassurance about your feelings and that you were not going to leave me.

About me moving to America, no I've been thinking of it also, being that I'll graduate in a year. From what I've seen so far it would be better for me to get a job over there because there is a specific visa but well I don't clearly know how it works. I know you've been bringing up the topic more than I, I just think it will be easier when you'll be out to deal with that on-site and tell me exactly what to do you know ? Because I try to find information on the internet but I don't have a clear view of the American environment remotely. There are many info I don't have : will I be able to live with you, if not then where do I go, what type of job opportunities are available in my field and with my level of degree, etc. And many things I need to consider : my current job, my family, well basically my whole life here in Europe. But if you want me to come up with more information then I can try to find more, just tell me papi ?

Other than that, I can't send you videos for now but I'll try until possible. Oh and yes I'm back to my old acc, I didn't have no more stamps on the other one. Sooo bye Nicki lol I think I'll use it for nudes only. Also, I need a lil update on your life thank u :-)

I missed you and I love you my little Randy
<3

See ? Our relationship is not THAT different. We fight. We argue. We kinda hate each other sometimes. But none of that has ever replace the love we have for each other. We're not that different. But everything we go through makes us special as a couple. I've seen a lot of comments on what it is to "date an inmate". Let's make things clear. I don't date an inmate. I date a man who is incarcerated. It's a BIG difference. People trying to turn this into a personnality trait are just weirdos to me. Dating someone in jail is NOT a personnality trait. 

(louder for the people in the back)

Are we special ? Yes and no. We go through shit and adversity just like any other couple. But we do believe we met each other for a specific reason and that's why I think we're special. We met for a special purpose. We are meant to be great and to do great things on this earth. Just watch.

It sounds like an end but it's not. We have entered an new era. Ladies and gentlemen, walk with...

WEN-DEE 🖤