Write A Prisoner

20

August 5th, 2020

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL BABY !!!! I pray this year brings you nothing but fortune and blessings on blessings !!
I'll call you later on today because I need to hear your voice on your glow day ;-) <3

Thaaaank yooou :-) and thanks for the bday card also !! My wish is that you and I keep developing the bond we share because that's probably one of the most precious things to me right now my lil Randy :-)

Zareen didn't wish me a happy birthday. It might look like I'm overreacting but I think you should know that type of dates when it comes to your friends. I mean like FUCK this is my fucking birthday for God's sake. 

I've never forgotten to wish her a happy birthday through all those years. I would anticipate my message to make sure to be the first one she would receive on her special day.

It hurts.

I know I have to let her go. It's been weeks now. She obviously doesn't want to hear from me. But I wish she had the courage to say it straightforwardly. Why playing games when you can keep shit simple and clear ?

Jermaine hasn't sent me shit either but that doesn't really affect me. Things are just getting clearer to me. He has always seen me as a sexual attraction more than a real person who can be hurt in their feelings and emotions. Disappointed, but not suprised.

August 21st, 2020

Hey babe :-) I've received a letter saying that video visits would be suspended until the end of the year :-/ I hope you didn't get in trouble because of me ?

Hey, yes I've been told the same thing but it's fine I around 90 days before being released !! So we'll be fine, sorry for the inconvenience.

I don't know why I keep writing him. It now seems so clear to me that we have no real connection. There's no real feeling like... Shit been awkward as fuck since that video visit.

Shit always been awkward. I was just delusional.

I need to let him go in my heart or I'll be hurt when he'll be out and out of reach. We are not meant to be. I have to accept this and move on with my life.

September 2nd, 2020

hello you  :-) been a while, I hope you're fine & safe ? kids are going back to school over here but I still have some time off so I'm cool :-) buuuut sooo many things happened omg I think I should write a story about me ahah but for real my life actually is a mess lol I'll tell you everything whenever we'll talk

But well that's just a lil msg cause I was thinking of you like *a lot* lol so take care, thank you :-)

September 23rd, 2020

hey Randy :-) how are you ? just asking cause we don't talk anymore (like we used to dooo) so you better be fine & safe, thank u :-)

now since idk when we'll talk, a lil update about my life *drum roll*

first, it's time for me to go back to school (sad face emoji), classes start next week and my schedule is so messy like I'm so pissed off. like why the fuck is me walking out of class at 10pm ? on Fridays ?? idk like maybe they expect us to live at school. Buuuut this is my last school year before graduation !! so pray for my degree so I can take a flight & see you :-))

apart from that, I'm good, the situation is a bit complicated with the virus cause there's a rising number of sick people so the government slowly sets up measures that look like a re-lockdown. from what I've heard, college students are being highly exposed because of classes so I just hope I'll be fine...

with that being said, mask on & stay safe (I really mean it cause I watch American channels & this country is just a big wtf, but well nothing unsual I guess aahahhaha)

Take care <3

September 25th, 2020

lil babbyyy wats the word beautiful???
I apologize for not being in contact with you as much as I kno we both would like.. I'm not making any excuses But I've just been going through some shit and I've lowkey been depressed but just reading your email made me remember why I like you so much!! i just get this comfort when it comes to you, I really wish I could just embrace you and kiss your gorgeous chocolate skin lol.fr tho!!

but I've tried calling you several times but you never answered so I kind of thought you didn't want to talk to me as Much anymore so I kind of fell back. but your reassurance felt good...

but look I have to go to work so I'm sorry I can't send a longer email but I'll try calling you soon.
but write me back and I'll send a longer email when I have more time, send me some pictures too.

What's going on ? Why are you depressed ? You don't need to apologize for being quiet, I know we all deal with problems differently but I do want you to keep in mind that I'm here if you need to talk (and just in case you didn't know, I always make sure to include a prepaid reply so you don't have to think about stamps or whatever when it comes to my messages)

about your calls, I think the application crashed for I don't know how much time then there's been some updates so I guess it's working now...

but just call whenever you can, there's no rush, I just needed to make sure you were like *alive* you know so now I'm relieved :-)

October 14th, 2020

Now let me tell you something. Life is funny. I started this week all happy and shit. Now, I don't know why but I decide to do a covid test. Just for fun ya know...

I am babysitting when I get an email saying I tested positive for Miss Rona. I look at the two cute little girls with a nervous smile. Damn. Why does it happen to me ?

Wendy you're a mess.