Write A Prisoner

how to write a prisoner

Hello you, hope you like my story :)

I've been getting a lot of messages about how to contact people in jail so I thought it would be nice to give you some advices. Altough you will be talking to human beings, their situation makes things a little bit different than other kind of interactions.

These are the "conditions" that I think you should be able to check :

- You must be at least 18. 

- You need to have some money. If you read my book, you know without money you can't send messages on jpay. You don't need a milli but you know. At least enough for stamps.

- You need to be able to open up. Obviously, you don't need to be comfortable right away but if you really want to build something, whether it's platonic or romantic, you need to be able to talk about yourself. It's like any other interaction. You should be able to listen to your interlocutor but also let them get to know you. Things work both ways. Have you seen how patient Randy was ? I can only thank him for his ability to read me like he did but every individual is different. Another person might would have thought I was not genuinely interested in them.

- This point is related to the latter. You should be able to show yourself and your environment. Pictures and videos are extremely appreciated by inmates because it helps them escape from their reality. Imagine being stuck in a facility and one day you get a video from a penpal during their trip at the beach. It's everything. It's helpful. You don't always need to be in the frame but it's important that you are willing to share your life. I remember sending a video to Randy just to say hello and he mentionned it like a hundred times. He remembered every single word that I had pronounced during that 30 seconds recording. It made him feel good and happy. Don't minimize the impact you can have on someone else's life.

Now if you want some tips, here's mine :

1. Be nice. You talk with real individuals with feelings and emotions. Don't add stress to their life. If you ain't here to bring peace, LEAVE.

2. Don't play with their emotions. Let me tell you something about this. When talking to an incarcerated man, your kindness may be taken as a "she likes me". From what I have seen and experienced, a lot of inmates (and a lot of men in general) misinterpret women' behaviors. We're not here to try to explain this phenomenon but it should not be neglected. If you are NOT willing to get involved into a romantic relationship, say it and say it straightforwardly. Don't get fooled thinking "he knows I don't wanna be with him" or "he knows I consider him as a friend". They don't know. How could they know ? Don't let a situation be ambigious to the point feelings get hurt. Because they will be.

3. Be patient. It's a lot of broken souls out there. Their environment forces them to protect themselves so they might be suspicious at first. They might ask a lot of questions. It's normal. They just need to know if you can be trusted. Just give them time. I believe trust is worth enough to be built and fought for. Allow yourself to be patient as well.

4. Don't be intrusive. I cannot emphasize that enough. Don't ask them about their crimes or what led them to jail. It should be their decision to bring up the topic. You can do your research online but don't ask them directly. They will eventually talk about what happened. Or not. But if you can't be open-minded then SIT DOWN and read numbers 1 & 3 again.

5. Enjoy the ride ! It's an amazing experience, it teaches you a lot of lessons about people and about life. You probably already know but it really changed my life for something better. Just keep in mind they're flawed humans, just like you. They're not bad people. They just made bad choices.

*** DISCLAIMER : before y'all get on my me, OF COURSE not all inmates are innocent. yes you generally get locked up for a reason. my point is we all make mistakes, the sky will judge us. And shit happens. You got beautilful souls inside and evil spirits outside.

Now, back to the story.