Walking in the Wind // Avengers

Epilogue

•••

Since the funeral, Erin and Evie had been staying with May and Peter. She'd found all the voicemails Lexie had left her, and had listened to them almost obsessively the first few days. She barely left her bed, barely spoke, barely ate, barely slept, just listened to her girlfriend telling her about the five years she'd been gone.

She knew May was worried sick about her, but she almost didn't care. She just wanted Lexie back. Was that too much to ask for?

Pepper sent Erin a message every day, asking how she was doing, telling her about what they were doing, and repeating that she was always welcome. It didn't bother Pepper if Erin didn't respond. She understood. Lexie had been like that too at the beginning; too depressed to communicate. With Lexie, however, Pepper had been able to take more action by bringing her to stay with them and just taking care of her. Erin had her own family to do that. All Pepper could do, was to make sure Erin knew that even though Lexie was gone, she still had people who cared for her and were more than willing to help her.

Pepper hadn't had it easy either. Which was why she found a certain comfort in communicating with Erin. Lexie had been her first daughter. She was family. Pepper had only met her when she was 18, so she wasn't exactly a child. But because of her unusual childhood, Lexie had grown up without parental guidance and care, and needed nurturing and love when she came to them, even if she was legally an adult.

Pepper, much like May, felt like she was the one who had to keep it together and stay strong. Morgan was just five years old - the same age Lexie had been when she'd lost her parents. She didn't understand death and often asked where Lexie was. Pepper never knew what to say; how to explain the complicated concept of Lexies death in a way a naïve five year old could understand.

Tony wasn't easy either. He was doing his best to honor Lexies wishes; he'd once and for all retired the Iron Man suit, he was making an effort to be a good father to Morgan, and a good husband to Pepper. But late at night, when Morgan had gone to sleep, he'd grieve. It was difficult to be a parent, when one of your children were lost. Both Pepper and Tony shed tears every night. Tony was happy to be alive and that he'd get to see his child grow up, something he never thought he'd get to do. But it had come at the expense of Lexies life. He knew she herself had made the decision to let him live, and take his place instead. A decision she was confident in and accepting of. Tony, however, couldn't describe the feeling of having lost Lexie. There were no words in existence to describe that pain. 

He'd keep going though. While he felt like giving up, and wallowing in his grief, he kept the promise he'd made Lexie close to his heart. For now, that was what kept him going. Eventually, it would get easier, it always did. The pain wouldn't go away, but it would fade. And he'd do everything he could to keep that promise; to not let her sacrifice have been for nothing. He'd be there for Pepper, he'd be there for Morgan, he'd be there for Peter and Erin, he'd make Lexie proud.

And he felt confident in the thought that one day, he'd see her again.

•••

Erin hadn't forgotten what Thor had mentioned to her. She still hadn't checked what was there though. In fact, she hadn't been to the apartment at all, just once to get some clothes and necessities for herself, as well as some things for Evie. After a month and a half, she felt it was time to start spending a bit of time there again. It was the home her and Lexie had shared together, there were plenty of memories there. The last thing she wanted was to be afraid of setting foot there, afraid of facing the loss, and afraid of Lexies memory.

So, one morning, she got up, got dressed in something other than sweats and Lexies old hoodie, ate breakfast with May and Peter before they went to work and school, and left the apartment in Queens to travel to the one in Manhattan. 

Stepping inside the apartment and turning on the lights, a part of her wanted to just run away. However, she knew that running away wouldn't solve anything, so she took a deep breath and made her way around the apartment, opening some windows to let some fresh air inside, and just looking around the lived-in apartment. An empty cup of coffee was on the table, a book was half-finished on the couch, Lexies side of their bed was unmade, and a shopping list was on the kitchen table. There were signs of Lexies presence everywhere and it made a part of her want to cry, while the other part found comfort in the feeling of being closer to her in a way. 

Her emotions were all over the place as she made her way back into the bedroom and crouched down in front of Lexies nightstand. She hadn't thought much of what it could be, having been too occupied with grieving, but now that she was about to find out, she did wonder. 

Nothing she'd imagined came close to the truth.

When she opened the drawer and saw the small velvet box, it took her a moment to register what it actually was - what it meant. When she did, she let out a small wail of despair, a deafening buzzing sound filling her ears. With trembling hands, she reached out and picked it up. She didn't open it right away though, only sat down on the floor beside the nightstand and leant against the wall. Her arms rested on her knees and she clutched the small box tightly in her grasp, as if clinging desperately onto a future she knew she'd already lost.

She almost didn't want to open it because that would make it real. Lexies death and having to live out her life without her was painful enough. When she'd open the box, and see what was inside, she knew it would just make the future they could have had, but never would, so much more devastating.

But, she'd made it this far, and she'd have to open it at some point. So, as if ripping off a band-aid, she opened the box and saw the beautiful ring inside.

She took the set out and held the dainty, unique pair of rings, looking at them. She let the tears fall freely, while also allowing a small, bittersweet smile to grace her lips.

Oh, how she wished Lexie had been the one to give her this, and they'd live a happy life and grow old together.

That wasn't reality though.

No, Lexie was gone, and Erin was still there with a ring she now placed on her finger, never intending to take it off, and no bride to marry.

"Yes," she whispered as a reply, hoping that wherever Lexie was, she could hear her.

Lexie might not be there anymore, but she was and would always be the love of Erins life.

•••

The End.

I also realized that I haven't written much about Peppers bond with Lexie, so I included that here. I've written a lot about Tonys feelings about Lexies death, and I went into that here too, but Lexie was Peppers kid too and I wanted to write about Peppers thoughts and feelings after everything.

Erin's also found the ring (and said yes). It's sad right now, for all of them, but I hope this chapter expressed that despite this, they'll be okay eventually. 

Thank you so much to all of you for reading, voting and commenting. It means so much to me because I've worked so hard on this book. I'm honestly really sad about the book being over now and I'll miss writing about Lexie. 

I'm adding one more chapter after this one with just a list of my books and the books I have planned to write so feel free to check that out. I've already started writing my Grey's Anatomy story which'll be published eventually.

Again, thank you so much <3<3

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