A Team

I wish I could remember

I woke up feeling warm and for once well rested. I rolled over and opened my eyes slowly to see the back of someone getting dressed. 
'Was I dreaming?' I asked myself feeling sadness fill my body. Did I dream meeting Andy again? I have dreamed about meeting him so many times but it never felt so real as they one I had last night. 
I sat up and rubbed my eyes holding the blanket up to cover my chest. As I blinked the sleep from my eyes I quickly realized that the back of who I was looking at was indeed Andy. I smiled realizing that it was not a dream.
'Wait, he is getting dressed and I'm naked. We had sex?'  I asked myself trying to remember what happened last night. The last thing I remember was going to the club. 
'Why is he getting dressed, is he trying to hide what happend from me, to act like it never happened?'
Of course he wants to hide it you are not his girlfriend he does not love you. My subconscious spat at me making my bottom lip quiver. 
I bit my lip to make it stop and got out of bed making Andy turn around to look at me. 
"Em I-"
I quickly held up my hand to stop him. "Don't. I know it was a mistake. It happens." I shurged and smiled as best I could. 
"I wont tell anyone I promise." I said quickly putting on my clothes. "I'll see later." I said then quickly walked out the door, down the hallway and off the bus.

I thought about the soft grass under my bare feet as I walked as far away from Andy as I could. When I looked up I found myself next to a traler for one of the bands. There was a pick nick table beside it that I quickly found myself sitting at. I laid my arms on the table and hid my face in my arms feeling something warm and wet run down my cheek. I closed my eyes tightly as more tears followed. 
"Umm are you okay?" Asked a rough voice.
I looked up to see a tall guy with black hair and puppy dog brown eyes.
"I'v been better."  I said wiping the tears of my face. "I'm sorry to bother you I'll just leave now." I said starting to get up
"Whoa where are you going? You are not bothering anyone sit down and keep crying if you want I just wanted to ask if you were alright." He said smiling at me. "I'm Ronnie"
"Emily." I said sitting back down. My throat stinging from crying.
"So do you want to talk about why you were crying or do you just want me to leave you alone?" He asked sitting across from me
"Both." 
"Well how about we talk then I leave you alone?"
"Sounds good."
"So whats bothering you?"
"Do you know the lead singer of Black Veil Brides?"
"Andy? Yeah I know him we are pretty good friends."
"Well I'm one of his old friends and we have just met up again and I did something very bad. So now I'm sure he don't want nothing to do with me." 
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I slept with him and he has a girlfriend..." I said hiding my face in my hands "I can't belive I was that dumb like what was I thinking last night? I don't know if I'm more mad at myself at doing it or mad at him trying to hide it."
"What makes you think he was trying to hide it?"
"I woke up to him getting dressed as quickly as he could. I don't blame him for wanting to keep it from Juliet but she is cheating on him anyways."
"You seem more mad with yourself then with him." Ronnie said softly making me look at him. His eyes met mine and seemed to make me realize what I was really upset with.
I sighed and bit my lip looking to my left. I staired at a leaf on the ground like it had the words I needed.
"Its just the first time I have sex with someone I actually wanted to, I cant even remember it...." I said looking off into space. 
I could not look at Ronnie I didn't want to see the confused look on his face. He would not understand what I meant since he didn't know my past. 
"That's why your upset?" Asked the voice that I didn't want to hear for a long time.
"I'll leave you two alone to to talk." Ronnie said getting up.
I was shocked when Andy sat to the right of me. He didn't touch me or try to make me look at him he just sat there.
"How much did you hear?" I asked after we sat there for five minuets.
"When Ronnie said you were more mad at yourself then with me. Is that true?" 
"Andy you know I could never be mad at you..." 
"Why you should be. I was just going to get dressed and wait till you brought it up to talk about it. I don't want to rune the thought of last night with us hating each other." Andy said making all the color drain from my face. I looked at him trying to hold back tears.
"You hate me? Was I that bad?" I asked my throat starting to burn and my eyes getting warm.
My breath cought in my throat when Andy placed his hands on my face and pressed his head to mine.
"No that's why I didn't want to talk about it. I loved it every second, every touch and every kiss." Andy asked softly his voice sounding more scratchy and rough then it did before.
"You kissed me again?" I asked stopping myself from reaching up to touch my lip.
He laughed softly and nodded "Haha yes quite a few times if I remember right."
I smiled softly a bittersweet feeling rushing threw me. I was happy that I knew why he didn't want to talk about it but sad that I could not remember anything that we shared between us
"Why are you crying?" He asked making me look up at him. He brushed the tear off my cheek and looked down at me.
"Because I know what happens next." 
"Whats that?"
"We acted like this never happened and you go back to Juliet." I side biting my lip trying to hold back tears.
"Who is Juliet?" He asked smiling at me. Even with the smile I could see the pain and anger in his eyes.
"What happened?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes it dose tell me. Please?"
"I went to go talk to her about what happened not wanting to make you have to hide anything. I walked in on her blowing some guy. She tried to play it off like I didn't understand that it was not what it looked like but she clearly had his dick in her mouth. I don't understand why this keeps happening. Why dose ever person I get with cheats on me. Am I that bad to be with?" He asked his voice wavering at the end. It was a shock to see him like this. Broken and sad. He looked lost. Like a puppy out in the rain that no one wanted.
"I want you." I said without thinking.
"What?" He asked looking at me confused
"Just thinking to myself. Don't worry about them Andy, they don't know what they gave up." I said stroking his cheek with my thumb.
He smiled softly and leaned into my hand closing his eyes.
"I guess I'm the broken one now."
"Never. We all fall down sometimes."
"I don't think I can get back up."
"You don't have to. God knows I didn't get back up for a long time."
"What helped you?"
"You." I said softly
Andy opened his eyes and smiled softly at me.
"Glad I could help cupcake."
"All in a days work for batman."
"It's a hard job but someone has to do it." He said smiling this time it reaching his eyes.
I could not help but smile back glad that his mood was brightening. I looked up when I felt something wet land on my cheek. More rain drops quickly followed. I giggle left my mouth.
"What?" Andy asked making me look at him
"We met in the rain and here we are all grown up, you on tour talking about-" I stopped what I was going to say not knowing if it was the right time to even say it. 
Me and Andy had sex last night.... He broke up with his girlfriend because she cheated on him. We are so close that all I had to do was move my head slightly up and I could kiss him. 
"Us." Andy said pulling the word out of my head
I bit my lip and nodded. Before ANdy could say anything thunder cracked making me jump. 
"Come on lets get you back to the bus before more tears start."  Andy said shocking me that he remembered my fear of storms. I was fine with them as long as I was not alone. 
'I wonder what else he remembers?' I asked myself as I walked behind Andy his fingers wrapped in mine on my left hand. "I think he remembers a lot more then what you think." Jake's voice ran threw my head. 
"I thought the rain was the best place to cry? No one can see your tears." I said over the rain as it damped our clothes quickly.
Andy stopped and turned around to face me. I could see just the corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile. 
"Who told you that?" 
"A raven haired blued eyed angel." I said taking a step closer to him smiling.
"Hmm I don't think he was angel if he was telling things such as that."
"But he was. Maybe a fallen angel. A angel that fell to save me from myself." 
Andy smiled and took the few inches that was between us so we where now almost touching chest to chest. He moved a strand of wet hair off my cheek and behind my ear but left his hand resting on my cheek. 
"You said that last night." Andy said so softly I almost didn't hear him threw the rain. But I did, his words made my cheeks turn red and get hot. 
I closed my eyes and lend into his hand on my right cheek, laying my hand on his. My left hand still holding his.
"I wish I could remember." I said softly opening my eyes to make mint green meet bright blue. 
Andy smiled and stroked my cheek softly nodding knowing that I knew there was nothing he could do to fix it. He shocked my by pulling me into a hug and burying his face in my neck. I felt rather then heard him take a deep breath and relaxing. I wrapped my arms around him hugging him back. I closed my eyes and laid my head on his shoulder. The smell of smoke, body wash and rain filled my nose. I could not help but nuzzle into him. His warmth sinking into me making butterflies fill my belly. I giggled when I felt Andy nuzzle into my neck his breath tickling my skin. I felt him smile and he softly and quickly bit into my neck. I could not help but grab his shirt when warm tingles shot threw my body. I felt Andy's smirk he did it again and pulled away from me, but kept his arms around me.
"Something wrong cupcake?" He asked lifting one eye brow
"That's not fair and you know it." I said play glaring at him
"Who said I play fair?" He said smirking
I rolled my eyes at him then giggled.
I screamed when thunder cracked very loudly over head making the sky light up. I didn't realize how dark it was till now. I knew it was only 1 in the afternoon so it should not be this dark out.
"Andy can we please go to the bus now?" I asked feeling very cold
He must have heard the fear in my voice because he looked around to see how dark it was. He nodded and started to pull me quickly to the bus.