A Soldier's Life

Chapter 10 - It's been a long day

Y/n's POV:

As soon as I drove off, Ava had fallen asleep in her car seat. I could feel sleep heading my way as well and I couldn't wait to crawl into bed. I was mentally exhausted. It's been a while since I last had a PTSD episode. Thankfully I was able to control this one so it wasn't too bad. However, this just added to the exhaustion it caused.

I was relieved that it didn't ruin the day. Ava still had a fantastic time, and I got to spend some time with Scarlett. She was so caring and seemed to show a genuine interest when we were talking. Though I get the feeling she wasn't expecting me to show up today.

In the café, when she reached out and held my hand, it sent butterflies to my stomach. She has this hold over me which I wish I could ignore or stop. But she has a fiance. Nothing could happen. I'm not falling for a straight girl. That shit hurts.

Luckily it didn't take too long to get home. It was only 7 but I was exhausted. I parked up the car and carefully lifted Ava out of her car seat. Thankfully she didn't wake, she just snuggled into me closer. Once we were in the apartment I went to her room and changed her into her cute little Finding Dory pyjamas.

There was no place for us to do our usual night time ritual so I tucked her in and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight my beautiful girl. I love you to the moon and back. Sleep well." I whisper. I hover in the doorway watching as she snuggles into her blanket pulling her teddy closer.

Every day for nearly 5 years, I've wondered what I've done in life to get such an amazing daughter. How she was with me today was amazing. She knew exactly what she could do to help. She makes my heart full and I'm so happy that she was able to have an experience like she did today.

I pull Ava's door too so it's slightly ajar and head to my own room to change. I pull out a pair of grey sweatpants and a black tank top. Rather than head to bed I decide to crash out in front of the TV for a while. This was the only time I had a chance to catch up with the shows Ava couldn't watch.

As time went on, I started to struggle to keep my eyes open. It was still early, and I was determined to not fall asleep. But it was a losing battle and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep halfway through an episode of Game of Thrones.

Flashback (third person)

"Y/L/N, we need to get the patients out now!" There is complete chaos around you as doctors, nurses and soldier's rush around trying to get people to safety. Your feet are planted to the floor, like you're unable to move, as you watch the, already injured patients, trying to get to safety. Pure fear in their eyes. Men, women, children, all running for their lives. A violent threat due imminently.

Eventually, you pull yourself together and rush into action. Directing people who could walk and finding support for those who couldn't. "Y/n/n, all of those who can walk are out, it's just those in beds that we've got left." Capt Richards yells over to you.

"Ok, get everyone we've got to get them out, hell we'll carry people if we have too. We've not go long, lets move it!" You yell back in response. Your unit goes into action moving as many of the patients as they can. But before everyone is out safely, you hear a loud boom which makes the floor shake.

"Everyone! Get to cover!" You yell directing people away from the building. Within seconds you're being rained down on my mortars. You turn to Capt Richards who is on the floor injured. In panic you run to him, "Dicky!" You shout, running to him, jumping over rubble which has fallen. But before you can reach him there's a loud explosion which hits you throwing you back into darkness.

Flashback over

Y/N's POV:

I jolt awake, my breathing heavy and covered in sweat. It takes me a while to realise it had been a nightmare. I search my surroundings to find items which can prove I'm home and not back there. The TV is the first thing I notice, then the keyboard but it's not until I see Ava's toys that I truly start to calm down. I do the breathing techniques my previous therapist had taught me and I'm eventually able to bring my breathing into control. My mind focused on my surroundings and not the nightmare.