A Soldier's Life

Chapter 35 - Butterflies

Y/n's POV:

Waking up in the hospital in pain was not how I like to start my days, but I have a feeling this is something I'm going to have to get used to for the time being. Thankfully it's not too long until the nurses come around and top up my pain meds. I had a rough night's sleep and they had been a God send. One particular nurse, Fiona, was especially nice.

She took the time to chat with me which helped take the mind of my pain. "Morning Y/n, how are you feeling?" She asked whilst taking some readings from the machines still attached to me. "To be honest, tired and in pain. But considering I was blown up less than a week ago, I can't really complain." I joked whilst trying to sit up. "Hey, no Y/n, let me help with that, we don't want you to rip your stiches." She said, gently setting me back in the bed before grabbing the controller of the bed to raise the back.

"Sorry, I'm not very good at this whole patient thing." I replied. "That's ok, no one likes being vulnerable. But we're here to help, and lucky for you, I come baring gifts." She grins as she grabs a couple of vials of medicine. "See this is why you're my favourite nurse." I joke as she started injecting the medicine into my IV whilst laughing. "You're such a sweet talker. Now is there anything else I can get you?" She asked. "Uh, some water would be great, my throat still feels weird." I respond, my hand subconsciously touching my neck.

"That's to be expected when an endotracheal tube is removed. Hopefully the discomfort will pass over the next day or so. But you're doing the right thing with drinking lots of water. I'll go grab some more for you now." She said with a smile on her face. "Thanks Fiona." A few seconds after she has left the room, the door opens again and to my surprise I see Jimmy stood there.

I big grin appears on my face whilst he stands frozen. "You going to come in or just keep the room ventilated?" I joked which seemed to pull him from his trance. "Sorry, it's just so good to see you awake." He quickly shuts the door and take the seat next to me. "God, you scared me." He breathed out. "Sorry about that, but I heard that if it wasn't for you, I would have bled out before the medics even made it." I said gratefully.

Jimmy shook his head. "No Y/n, it's me that should be thanking you. You saved my life, twice. It's because of you that I came home to Missy with nothing more than this tiny ass cut on my face." Jimmy said pointing to the cut on his cheek. "Hey, Jimmy it's ok don't...." "No Y/n. I should have stayed with you and supported you in your retreat. All I could think about was Ava and how it was my fault that she might lose her Mum." He interrupted.

I paused and let out a slight sigh, my head starting to throb a little from the raised voices. "Look Jimmy. If you had stayed, it would be both of us led in hospital, if not worse. I don't blame you for what happened, and Ava certainly doesn't. We were in a war zone, there are risks to that. I made a decision on what was right for the platoon. Please don't blame yourself or think you could have done anything differently. I'm here awake because of you." I share honestly.

I hate that he is feeling responsible for this. I know how that feels after I let losing Dicky eat me up for years. Thankfully he seems to hear me and lets out a sigh of relief. "I'm just so happy you're awake and on your way to recovery. Just know that Missy and I are here for anything that you need." He offers, leaning over and taking my hand in his. "How are you feeling about all of this?" He asked.

"It's all quite overwhelming. I just want to get out of this bed and go back to my normal life. But that is going to be weeks, if not months away. I guess I just feel frustrated and a little angry at myself." I respond, looking down at my busted leg. "What do you mean?" Jimmy questioned. "If I had died, Ava would be without a parent. I know that Sophie would have taken her, but it feels a little irresponsible. I've always said that Ava comes first, yet here I am doing something which could complete derail Ava's life." I start to ramble.