The Star's Solace (T)

Epilogue

May you find solace & be comforted by someone's love, warmth, and care. 

Ily, khiel and lianna.

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Epilogue

Life sometimes can be full of fears and pains. Minsan hindi mo alam kung makakaahon ka pa mula sa hagupit ng kahapon, 'di mo alam kung maghihilom ka pa. I don't want to move on anymore. I was stuck in the past. Gusto ko siya pa rin. Gusto ko kasama ko pa rin sila. Kung hindi siya, h'wag na lang. That was my mindset before. Masyado akong nagpakain ng kalungkutan. I forgot to live. I forgot to enjoy my life. I forgot to move on.

It's okay to be sad—all emotions are valid. But don't let this emotion eat you and dominate you. Life goes on.

There is always rainbow after the storm.

When someone go, someone will come also.

Lianna... she helped me in finding my solace again. No... she is my solace. Hinding-hindi na mawawala, sigurado ako, kasi hahawakan at hahawakan ko na siya habang buhay. Ibig sabihin... habang buhay na rin akong payapa.

I also realized that there are some things... and even someone... that will just slip away in just a blink of an eye because simply they were never ours. Wendy isn't meant to grow old with me. Lianna is.

I will never forget Wendy; she is part of my life and for who I am today. Hindi ko rin makakalimutan iyong sakit ng pagkawala niya. It will forever be imprinted on my mind. But with each day that passes, and the assurance of today it gives to me... the past isn't hurting me more. I am already healed. I am already comforted.

I looked at Lianna while she's watching the stars at night. Our hands are intertwined with each other while feeling the calmness of the night. This became our favorite date... star gazing.

She is beautiful and shining just how those stars at night shines. She is my calm.

"What are you thinking?" I said in the middle of our silence.

I saw her smiled, but her eyes still stuck on the stars.

"Hmm. Wala. My mind is at peace tonight." Now... she looks at me. Mas lalo akong naalo sa kanyang mata at maamong mukha.

"Me too." I whispered back.

"Sana palaging ganito..." she mumbled. "Sana palaging tahimik at masaya lang. Pero... napakaimpossible naman yata 'yon." She chuckled.

"May dadaang kalungkutan at pagsubok pa rin panigurado."

I nodded.

"But hey..." nilingon niya ako at nginitian.

"Hindi na ako takot pa. Hindi na ako mangangamba pa kung sakaling dadaan man sila," she smiled. I smiled too and nodded contently.

"If your mind and heart are in chaos, just hug me and I will try my best to give you peace. If you feel sad and weary, come, I will give you comfort. If you need a hug, my arms will always be ready to embrace you. If you are in doubt, I will give you assurance. If you need love... I'll give you what love you deserved." Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinalikan ang kayang ulo.

"Thank you..." she softly mumbled. "For giving me assurance, I really need that. Noong high school, sina Mommy at Daddy lang ang pinagkakatiwalaan ko. Nawala ang tiwala ko sa inyo ni Kate. Pero si Kate... nanatili pa rin siya. She is patient with me. Kaya ayun... eventually... nagtiwala na rin ako sa kanya at naging magkaibigan kami... hanggang ngayon."

"Now... it's you," she whispered. "You are patient with me too. You waited for me. Kahit na walang kasiguraduhan, kahit sobrang tagal na ng panahon ang lumipas, nandito ka pa rin. Nandito pa rin tayo. Hindi ko alam na kahit sobrang tagal na panahon ang lumipas nananatili pa rin ang pag-ibig."

"Oo naman. Bakit iyong mga old couples?" I pursed my lips.

"Oo! Sila kasi palagi silang magkasama. Eh, tayo? Hindi nga tayo nagkita ng ilang taon eh. Nasakto lang na nagtrabaho ako malapit sa pinata-trababuhan mo."

"That's what we called fate..."

She chuckled and buried her face on my chest.

"We're meant for each other, Lianna. We're made for each other like how the stars twinkle in the night..."

"Kung tayo... tayo," bulong niya. "Kung hindi tayo..." she paused.

"Ipilit natin." Dugtong ko.

"Sorry for making you feel alone before. Sorry for hurting you that way. Sorry for comparing you to Wendy. I am not yet healed before even though my feelings for you back then were real. You're right... you're different from her..." I paused and hugged her more.

"She is my past, and you are my present and future."

Wendy is my greatest pain. Lianna is my solace, the mending of my wounds.

"Thank you for coming back, Lianna..."

I felt her moved. Pinanood ko siyang kung paano umupo at titigan ako. Umupo na rin ako sa tabi niya at tinitigan siya. After a while she reached for my head and put it in between her shoulder and neck. Now, she's hugging me dearly while caressing my back. Ah... I love it. This is the most comforting part of my night.

"Khiel... Mahal kita."

"Mahal din kita."

She is my solace. I found my solace again in her arms.

--END--