Here All Along

chapter - 14

Now that I had started to make peace with my feelings for Win, I felt a lot less tired and confused. It was opposite to the notion that knowledge is dangerous. For me, this knowledge brought a relief. And why wouldn't it? The fear i had was finally at my door and i had let it in. It was as if i finally stopped trying to run away from what was inevitable. Of course, it was painful to learn that my love would be an unrequited one but nonetheless, I found solace in the fact that I was aware, at least. Most people spend a lifetime not realising the love that exists (or that does not exist) in their lives. The person I loved knew I existed. He cared for me. He even loved me (in different way yes but it was love at the end of the day). I guessed i was luckier than most of the people. Besides, the promise was to take whatever he gave. And he gave me the truest friendship. I would have never ruined it.

"Wish me luck" Win nudged my elbow, startling me.

I looked around. We were already at the University's main entrance. It was Win's first day as a college student. He was a combination of excitement and nervousness but more excitement.

"You don't need luck" I said, patting his head, "I'm sure you're going to have a great time."

"Thanks. Bye" he waved excitedly before getting out of the car. I waved back before reminding him to text me once his classes are over to which he nodded absent mindedly and I drove off.

On my way to home, I realised I hadn't given a welcoming present to Win. Not that we were the kind of friends who exchanged a lot of gifts but I liked to give him things he was fond of. But the problem was I sucked at buying gifts. In Naurburi, i always gave him the most random things, a dragonfly, a recipe of cocoa muffin (he liked baking), a bunch of sweet edible grasses, a picture of a snowball having his face photoshopped in it, a storybook with him being the protagonist of all the sci fi stories. He always looked forward to my gifts and may be even liked them but things were different here in Chirang. I was no more a kid who was afraid to spend too much money his grandparents gave him. I was a twenty two years old adult now who was doing a paid internship in a renowned publishing house. I had to buy him something special. I stopped in front of a flower shop.

"Hello! What are you looking for?" A girl almost my age, asked.

"Uhm, flowers?" I asked lamely.

She had a customer friendly smile on her face.

"For your lover?" She asked politely.

"For a friend" i corrected her urgently.

"Umm...a female friend?" she interrogated again.

"Just a friend who loves flowers" i said, rather slightly irritated.

She nodded before ushering me to one corner of the shop.

"Usually we ask our customers about the person who they have to give the flowers to because every flower has a unique meaning. Just like every name has a unique personality. I'm sorry if I went overboard."

I was taken aback by her explanation. Firstly, it impressed me that a businessperson could give so much importance to such things. But then a business of flowers must not be like other businesses. Secondly, I was surprised that she considered it important to explain to me. Most people I came across would outright judge me as an arrogant jerk.

"Oh I see" i said in an awkward manner, "uhm, so would you help me to find right flowers if I tell you his personality?"

She nodded hysterically with twinkling eyes. It reminded me of Win.

I cleared my throat, "uhm, he is a cheerful person. Friendly and kind to strangers, ambitious, confident. He has a really bright and contagious smile. If you see him smiling, it's impossible that you won't smile. And he is a warm person. You just want to be near him whenever you're cold..."