Here All Along

chapter 29

A/n
tw : mention of cancer (and it will be mentioned in the next few chapters too)

....

Kavin stayed the night of Win's birthday at his house. After the party, i went back to my grandparents' house. Aunt Irin wanted me to stay the night at hers but she did not force me. I figured she realised it would be cruel to ask me to sleep in the room next to Win's in which he and Kavin were sleeping together. I was never that strong.

The morning after, when I went to meet Win, he did not bombard me with every little detail of how he and Kavin sorted things out. It was strange and new. He was acting like usual but there was a certain change in his temperament that I could not point out. Anyhow, he told me Kavin had to leave for Bangkok in the morning itself. I and Win were going to stay one more day in Naurburi before we had our flight from Naurburi central the next day. We had a blast all day, wandering about the new built cafés and taking stroll down the lakeside. It yielded me great delight to walk about all the places in the village with Win by my side, the boy who made my life in Naurburi worth remembering. I was nobody, a foreigner to the place until i touched him through Aunt Irin's skin and felt his movements. Until i held him in my trembling hands and saw his little puckered lips stretching in an angelic smile.

Twenty two years later, I still thrived on that smile.

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Win came to my house after dinner that night. I was watching tv with grandpa as he appeared, restlessness marring his otherwise calm disposition.

"Mom wants to see you" he said after chatting to grandpa for a minute. I wiggled my brows, asking what it was but he just shrugged his shoulders and dragged me outside.

"Is all okay?" I asked, striding fast to match his pace.

He shook his head, "i have no idea. She said she wants to talk about something and i don't have a good feeling about it."

We hurried inside his home. His parents along with phi Earth were sitting in the living room. Win's words seemed understandable now. There was a thickness in the air, a heavy lead waiting for us to step on it and cut through out skin. Phi Earth was leaning against the windowsill, his hands folded against his chest that heaved dejectedly. Win's dad looked crestfallen, his eyes that always had sparkles were colourless and sombre. And there was aunt Irin, sitting on the sofa and armouring on her dry lips, a smile that scared me more than any horror tales of the world could. Win took a place beside her while I stopped at the small couch placed right next to the giant window, in line opposite to the sofa where they sat. For some reason, sitting so close to her while she was going to talk made me afraid. Perhaps, it was the uncertainty that set me restless.

"I told you that I wanted to talk about something, right?"

She didn't wait for us to reply and cleared her throat before fixing her eyes at Win and began.

"So I had been feeling a little off for the past few days. I thought it was just a fatigue from the excess physical work. We went for a casual check up but the doctor found a lump in my chest.."

"Mom" Win interrupted, his eyes darkening with apprehension as he slowly shook his head, as if stopping her from continuing could change what she was about to say.

"She advised for an MRI and other medical tests and so i took it, although she said she was almost sure about the results of the diagnosis. It's only a week ago we found out that i have a breast cancer."

I was holding my breath all this time, hoping for her to say anything but this so i could finally release an air of relief. It never came.

"What stage is it?" I stuttered, glancing at Win who was pale and quiet.