Here All Along

chapter - 28

"Why did you ask him if i made him realised he was gay?" I asked aunt Irin who stopped her ministrations on hearing me. We were sitting on the terrace, basking in sun, inhaling the sweet fragrance of sunflowers and spices. She was weaving a tapestry from a white and green yarn ball, something she told me she'd grown fond of lately.

"Ugh did he tell you that?" She grunted. I raised a brow.

"Of course he told you that. Is there anything you two hide from each other?"

"No. Not for long" i said, without exaggeration.

"I was always convinced that you two were having something more...sorry i said that to him."

I smiled weakly, staring at the drying crushed sandalwood powder scattered at one side, spreading a fragrance that reminded me of Win.

"It's okay. It's not like he doesn't know already.."

Aunt Irin gasped, "what do you mean? Did you- did you tell him about your feelings?"

I laughed ruefully, "how did you know i have feelings for him? I never told you."

But i also never told Gorya or mom, for that matter. Yet, they found out. Women just had a way to get me, i was forced to realise that from time to time.

"You didn't have to" was all she said before asking me if i really had confessed to him.

"Does he not feel that way?" She asked carefully, almost as if she was afraid. I understood that feeling. I had felt it.

I nodded, pursing my lips hard before looking up at her.

"He loves - " my voice wavered and i cleared my throat, "he loves someone else."

Her face softened and she grabbed my hand, planting a soft kiss on my fingers.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah" i chuckled, "I'm great actually. I have a boyfriend too. He is amazing."

She only smiled weakly, her hands pressing firmly against mine. It was a good thing I did not cry easily or else I would have broken in a fit of sobs right then. A loud buzz of my phone interrupted us and i fished my phone out of my pocket.

It was Kavin.

"I need to take this" i said, scrambling up from the floor and running towards the balcony.

"Hey Bright..you called?" came his husky voice from the other side.

"Uhm yeah..just wanted to check up on you?" I said lamely.

He sighed, "did Win ask you to call me?"

"No" i said firmly, "he doesn't even know i called you. And I'd appreciate if this remains between us."

"What is it?" He asked.

"I don't know" i said, rather stupidly, "i really just wanted to check up on you. Knowing you are doing fine will make him feel better, he deserves at least that much."

"It's our private matter."

"I know. And i have never interfered between you two before. You know that."

"So why are you interfering now?"

I bit my lower lip in deep speculation of whatever I was going to say. It could have been a sheer wrong guess that would annoy an already annoyed Kavin and might jeopardise their relationship. But it could also be the only way to bring Win to smile back and it was worth taking a risk.

"Because i think it is about me" i said carefully, "and if it indeed is, Win would never tell me and I'll never be able to help him."

A thick silence hung between us before he took a long, deep sigh.