Here All Along

chapter - 16

When I woke up, there was enough sunlight in the room to understand that I had overslept. I squinted my eyes so i could get used to the brightness and sat up, my head spinning so fast I had to hold it tight. My eyes flared open as the blurred memory of last night came washing down in my mind.

Win and i fought.

I got drunk.

Gorya...

I scrambled out of the unfamiliar bed and wobbled outside in confusion and panic which only rocketed when my eyes landed on Gorya, wearing a nightgown and watering the plants in her balcony.

"No no no...." I mumbled like a maniac, "please tell me we didn't do anything last night. Say that nothing happened. Please. Please.."

She crossed her hands on her chest and leaned against the balcony.

"Relax" said she, "we just kissed and then you passed out. I didn't know where you lived so I brought you here."

I released a breath of sheer relief and sank on the floor, bending my head in my knees.

I heard a humourless chuckle.

"I'm offended that you're so happy about not having sex with me" she laughed before sitting next to me.

"Ah...you are saving it for the right one, I see."

Sometimes, I hated how sharp a woman's instincts are. Aunt Irin could always sense the things even I didn't know were happening inside me. Mom found out before I was sure. And now Gorya. If Win was even half of how intelligent these women were, perhaps I wouldn't have to suffer much. But then, I was more glad that he was clueless. Perhaps, things were better that way.

Anyhow, I did not reply to her.

"Can I ask you something Bright?"

I nodded. I also hated how persistent women are.

"Why did you show up at my shop last night, all drunk and depressed?"

My face heated up in embarrassment. I seriously should have called a cab and gone home.

"I just needed some company."

"To avoid someone else's?" She asked.

I closed my eyes and nodded. There was no point denying it. That was the least of courtesy I could show after she let me sleep at her place.

She laughed. I did not find it funny.

"We both are same" she took a deep breath, "hurting because of not being on the same page with someone."

I wondered if she was talking about that animalistic ex of hers.

"But we can't keep waiting for the other to change their heart" she added, "we need someone who understands our pain."

She looked at me before leaning in slowly and whispered, "you and I can share our pain."

I looked into her eyes and I found the desperation to escape a feeling I understood very well. I felt bad for her and for myself but I pulled back from her. There were more important things to deal with.

"I should go" I said before standing.

"You have my number" was the last thing I heard before walking out of her apartment.

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Luckily, it was weekend and I had no work day to screw by my recklessness. Mom was worried where had I been all night but I dismissed her, saying I was at Nani's. She hardly believed but I had no time to convince her anyway. By the time i took shower and a brisk breakfast, it was already two in the afternoon. And now, I was impatiently pacing back and forth in front of Win's dorm, waiting anxiously for him to get back from his extra swimming practises. Every student who lived in university dorms was supposed to register a guardian's name so they could have permission to enter the dorms in case of emergency. Win had registered my name. So it was not really a problem to get inside his dorms. About half an hour later or so, I caught a sight of him walking towards the building with his friends. His steps slowed when his eyes landed on me. He said something to his friends before they walked in another direction and he came close.

"Hey.. can we talk?" I asked, my mouth suddenly dry for no reason.

He nodded and led me to his room.

"I am sorry Win" I began as I had no intension to avoid the subject.

"I am so sorry for acting so childishly. I know I can be overprotective of you sometimes. I promise I will not cross my boundaries."

My eyes were bent down as I said everything sincerely. But when I heard a faint sniffling, I cocked my head up to see a single tear threatening to fall from his eye.

"Win?"

"I messed it up didn't I?" He asked slowly, grabbing my hands in his.

"I'm sorry I got angry. You are not overprotective Bright. You are just the right amount of protective. Don't say like that. You know there's no boundary between us. Don't talk like that."

His voice broke and so did he, weeping loudly and I was genuinely confused. Wasn't this what he wanted? For me to not interfere.."

"When did I say that you shouldn't interfere??" He shrieked and I realised I might have said it out loud.

"Of course you should interfere. I want you to interfere. Don't ever talk about boundaries.."

He was a sobbing mess and I kept hugging him tight, drawing circles on his back, promising him all the things he wanted me to.

"Ssh..stop crying" whispered I, wiping his eyes, "I understand now. You want me to keep nagging at you."

That succeeded at making him laugh a little before he hugged me again.

I never realised before but Win was becoming more emotional ever since he left Naurburi. I wondered if it was lingering effect of homesickness.

"Yes. Keep nagging at me and scolding me and worrying about me. I love when you do that."

I'd be lying if I say that it wasn't the most heartwarming thing Win had ever said to me. It made me feel like I was the luckiest man alive, perhaps even luckier than Luke or Kavin or all the boys he'd ever love.

They could never have what I had with him. Not even if they tried hard.

It felt like a brook of relief washed over my wounds. I was still jealous of Luke. But now, I felt better about the idea that he too should be jealous of me because he'll never know Win the way I did. I had known him before he was a human. Who could compete with that? So I got my immature shit together and decided that it was okay for Win to date.

It had to be. I survived it before. I could survive it again.

"You're listening to me, aren't you?" He asked again.

"I am. And I am sorry for making you cry" I said, fixing his hair, "I promise to be the same. Now stop crying."

He sniffled and drank the water I offered. We sat on the bed, staring stupidly at each other.

"Do you like Luke?" I asked.

"Well, he's funny and good in bed" he said coyly.

The heaviness was there and I believed I'd slowly get used to it.

"I am looking forward to meet him" I said, earning a gasp from him.

"You sure?" He asked with eyes wide as two oceans, "you will meet him?"

"I hope you know that if I don't like him, you'll have no choice than to break up."

"You're the best, Bright" he exclaimed before jumping on me. I laughed and pushed him away, causing him to pout dramatically. His phone buzzed and he flashed the screen at me.

"It's him" he chirruped, before walking in a corner and received the call.

There was a heaviness inside me and I wanted to cry but he glanced at me and smiled.

It was impossible not to smile when he was smiling at me.

🖤🤍