Here All Along

chapter - 37

A/n: 🔞
(honestly, how surprised you are?🙃

...

"No. Never with you" he said, his lips and voice, both trembling.

Even when he was crying, he looked beautiful. He always looked beautiful. And it hurt not to kiss him.

So i kissed him.

....

My eyes flashed open as i felt him curling his fists against my chest. Win wasn't kissing me back. A chill ran down my spine and i stumbled back.

His eyes were tearful, lips ajar in a shock.

"I am sorry" I believe I stammered somehow, not able to meet his eyes.

"I'm not" he whispered before closing the distance between us. My eyes closed spontaneously with the pure bliss of having Win so close to me, his lips on mine, his hands compressing my wild heart intact, my hands cradling his face, our breathes mingling together. We were not kissing deeply, nor our tongues were involved. It was just desperate little collision of our lips again and again which was driving me crazy. We made tiny muffle noises as we kissed, slow and tentatively. He made a whiny sound before flicking his tongue against my lips which i parted in surrender. I pushed his tongue back and swiped mine all across his mouth, licking the sweet caverns inside. It smelled of Win and alcohol and I felt fuzzier with every passing second.

"Win wait-" I rasped, pulling away, "let's talk first.

"I'll only cry if i talk."

"We can't do this" i said, stopping his impatient hands that attempted to grab my face.

"Why not?" he whined against my lips.

"You are drunk."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are. This will ruin everything."

"Nothing will change in a night" he mumbled, glancing up at me.

I could see the naked vulnerability in his eyes. I wished i could save him from the pain. But it would only have cost me so much pain in return.

"Win please" I almost cried, as he tried to kiss me again.

"Don't do this to me" I pleaded, for may be it was a one night catharsis for him. But for me, it was the fulfilment of one prayer I had harped on for so many years.

"You love me, don't you?" he whispered and I had to hold him tight so he didn't stumble onto the floor. He was definitely drunk. But he was also alone. That, I did not want him to be.

"I do" i finally answered, wiping my tears before carrying him in my arms. 

"You're not going to run away tomorrow, right?" I asked hopefully.

"Don't let me" said he, throwing his arms around my neck. I carried him to the bedroom, drew the curtains in, switched the lampshade on. He opposed but i wanted to see him. We sat on the bed, our knees touching as we stared at each other. His eyelids were heavy, tipsiness making him look drowsier than he already was. There was an absolute silence and the loudest sound was the one of me gulping hard and breathing heavily. I was drenched in nervousness. His liquid eyes blinked adorably at me.

"You are beautiful" I breathed out, brushing the back of my fingers against his cheek. He closed his eyes, like two pretty moons going under the clouds. I didn't think he realised how he leaned in to my touch.

"I'm not" he said, laughing lightly, contrary to the the tears hanging on his eyes.

I kissed them away. He shuddered when i did that.