Here All Along

chapter - 36

It is supposed to be a simple theory, really. You are thrown into the world to live. And so you live. Despite anything and everything. Two months passed since aunt Irin's death. It were painful months, probably the most painful we all ever had to survive. Many a times, i felt as if it would be a lot better, had i never known her at all. But soon, i discarded the thought because it also meant i was regretting the twenty seven years i had lived making happy moments with her. And honestly, not that it was a competition, but my pain was not even close to the trauma it caused to her family, her sons and her husband. We all stood together, firm and supportive to each other in storm now that the root which held our home together was ripped out by cruelties of universe. However, it is also universe which takes care of the stranded ones like us. Or so i liked to believe.

Life went on. Two months became three and four and then, seven.  Our lives were slowly coming back to tracks. It was a bit by bit progress but a progress nonetheless. I'd never leave Win alone for first few months.

Win, for some reasons unknown to me, had broken up with Kavin. It was two months after aunt Irin's death.

At first, he told me they were taking a break. But soon, they kinda drifted apart. I was not really stunned, as he probably expected me to be. In fact, i hardly knew how to feel about it. Feeling happy could only produce guilt. Feeling sad would be a hypocrisy. I just did not want to think it was because of me. I almost knew it wasn't because of me. May be it was the sudden urge to detach himself from people that was spurred by his loss. May be it was the realisation that he deserved someone who could spare some of his time to him when in need. In any case, I did not make it about me. Did not ask him if that was a sign for us being something more than friends. It was not the time. I wanted him to heal first.

I remember I had shrugged at him, saying I kind of saw the break up coming because my gut feeling told me things were off between them. He asked me how did i know. I told him if it was about him, I'd always know.

Gradually, we started to smile more often and more real. Phi Earth proposed to his girlfriend phi mixie sometime around the first Christmas we dined without aunt Irin. It was not amazing. But it was okay. And okay perhaps was an amazing start.

Win resumed his contract with the agency, albeit ungracefully at the beginning but he was both, a hard head and an extraordinary swimmer. Sure there were people who glowed in his absence only to pale off when he got back in the pool, showing others and me why he was the best swimmer in the city. People who knew him knew the reason behind his disappearance and welcomed him cheerily, either out of sympathy or love or a bit of both. He was already popular on social media. It inspired him to work harder, regain his body shape and chisel his skill.

One night, he came over with a cartone of chilled beer bottles, a blinding smile displayed on his face.

"I made it to the Korean Water Contests!" He exclaimed with pure joy, handing me the carton and prancing inside.

"Wow. I thought the audition was tomorrow."

"It was. They preponed it suddenly. Anyways, hope i haven't disturbed."

I shook my head, "I'm rather disturbed when you are not around."

He walked to the balcony, not hearing what I said. Or so he pretended.

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"This reminds me how we used to sit in grandma's backyard at nights. It was always a starry night there. It used to feel so nice."

I hummed as he continued to babble his tipsy thoughts out. He already had a bottle or two and seeing how happy he was, i did not have the heart to stop him especially since the next day was an off for him.