Here All Along

chapter 27

"Mae..." I breathed out, my heart swelling with warmth as aunt Irin hugged me tightly, patting my back while mumbling things I could not make anything out of.

"Let him go mom, he isn't going anywhere" Win sighed before sauntering to the kitchen. I laughed, aunt Irin rolled her eyes.

"I missed you so much my son. I'm sure you didn't miss me at all."

I smiled and shook my head, "of course i didn't. I had a piece of you with me all the time, after all."

Mae smiled back and we both glanced at Win who was now humming a song, looking for something to eat in the fridge.

"This devil is not giving you a hard time, is he?" She asked.

I laughed, "he's the best thing about the world, mae. You know that."

Mae ruffled my hair fondly, her eyes deep on mine until they began welling up for some reasons and she declared the dinner to be ready. I wanted to ask about things that were troubling aunt Irin. Win too agreed that she looked thinner and paler than usual. But she kept dismissing us, silencing our inquisitive mouths by stuffing us with her delicious tomato chicken soup and mango sticky rice. It felt nice, sitting together like very old times except our foreheads were creased and smiles, burdened by the heaviness of adulting but it was nice. To realise how much we grew and at what cost, it was painful but nice. Win had decided to use this time for coming out to his parents. He wanted to take this step for himself but mostly for Kavin. I stroked his palm gently and nodded, whispering I'd wait for him in the backyard while he could talk to them. It was supposed to be his moment.

"Stay here, please? It will be easy with you beside me" he said, wiping his forehead.

"I am always beside you" said i, before touching his cheek and walking out, my encouraging gaze still lingering at him.

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I bit my nails anxiously as I sat on the grass, eyes on a lazy stroll of the night sky that looked so familiar in so many ways. I was nostalgic, having to visit my hometown after so long but the worry of how things were going on inside wasn't letting me enjoy that feeling. Although i had an instinct that aunt Irin must have had a vague idea about Win's sexuality, i couldn't really say for sure. I wondered if Win would also tell his parents about Kavin. I did not like the thought of it but what choice did i have but to accept it?

"Counting stars?" I heard Win's voice behind me. I whipped back to see him ambling towards me, his hands folded against his chest, hair a cute mess under the racy wind and a faint weak smile put on a display.

"I can't without you" i replied under my breathe but he chuckled as if he knew that would be my reply even if he didn't hear me. He sat next to me, wrapping his hands across his knees and resting his head against my shoulder as he always liked to do. I did not disrupt the comfort we were getting in the silence. I wanted, in fact, it to stretch as long as it could before he'd utter the words that would leave a mixture of emotions in me.

"I told them that I'm gay" he said simply.

"How did it go?" I asked. He shook his head against my arm.

"It was better than I could ever expect. Dad promised not to disown me."

I chuckled softly, an overwhelming relief washing over me as i felt Win's damp cheek against my arm. He was in tears but as long as they reflected his happiness, i was okay with them flowing out of his eyes.

"How does it feel?" I asked.

He glanced up at me, his watery smile surging a bittersweet pain through my veins.

"Like a heavy rock has finally lifted up from my chest" said he, "thank you Bright. I couldn't have done it without your support."

"I don't do anything except sit back and watch you being the wonderful person you are."

Win's lips twitched in a smile, as a drop of tear slid down his cheek. There was an indescribable ache in watching him smiling and crying at the same time, the visible juxtaposition of his expressions twisting my gut inside out. I wanted to protect Win from all kinds of pain. But I also wanted him to fight his own battles and grow like the man i believed he was. More than anything, i wanted to kiss his tears away and touch him under the moonlight, with a love so intense even stars paled off. But there were no stars in the sky and there was no permission to me for a demonstration of my love.

"It's fine. As long as you're watching me, i can get through anything in life."

"We're being sentimental now, aren't we?" I joked and tousled his wispy, auburn locks.

"Get lost" he mumbled sullenly, earning a yet another fit of giggle from me until he laughed too.

"Did you tell them about Kavin too? I asked, trying my best to not sound apprehensive or jealous (which i actually was).

"Kavin told me not to" Win said slowly, "he wants to fix our issues before we involve our families."

"What issues Win?" I asked, a tad impatient and a lot worried, "you two are in love. There cannot be an issue you can't work out."

"I don't want to talk about it now" he said, his voice slightly cracking and i could feel my heart sink. Win was more melancholic than I'd seen him in a long time. It was obvious how much his fight with Kavin had affected him. He told me he missed Kavin so much it was hurting and yet, refused to talk about it, this stupid boy.

"But you know what was weird about my conversation with them" he said after a long silence, "there was something mom said right after it that i cannot still understand why."

I frowned, "what did she say?"

"She asked me if I realised about my sexuality because of you. What could she mean by that?"

I could imagine my eyes growing round and big as i heard him. I gulped soundly before shrugging clueless. It came to me as a pretty surprise that aunt Irin would say something like that. Why? Did she know?

"It's funny" Win said, his faraway gaze hardening his expressions, "it seems like everyone around me fancies the idea that you and i have got something going on. I always thought people saw us like brothers and they will ridiculously judge us if we ever developed romantic feelings for each other. But lately, i've been feeling like it's the opposite. They are surprised that we are not dating."

I blinked intently at him, each word of his inscribing deep inside me. His implications were vague and i needed to know what was going on in his mind. Who were these other people other than aunt Irin that he was talking about? Could it be phi Earth? My grandparents? Kavin? I was curious for obvious reasons but i also wanted to avert the subject from this to something less dangerous.

"Stop thinking too hard about unimportant things. You already have a lot on your plate" i said, wrapping my hand around his shoulder, tapping it gently.

"Okay" he said obediently and breathed sharply before nursing his head against my chest. I draped my jacket around his back which he pulled close before whispering,

"Tell me a happy story. I want a break from your sad endings."

I snorted, locking him tightly in my embrace before looking up at sky.

I wanted a break from my sad ending too.

🖤🤍

A/n : do you think there's a hidden implication behind Win believing that everyone would have judged him and bright if they dated?

Also, the next chapter is quite long. We'll get an idea of what exactly is happening with Kavin. And Win turns twenty three in the next chapter!! And we know how Bright always wishes him on his day so you can expect some littttle fluff bye 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️