Here All Along

chapter - 42

A/n: since i don't want to add any note in the end of this chapter, I'm gonna do it now but it might have a slight spoiler (but not really). Bright's father does not appear anywhere in the story and is only mentioned by all the characters. This alienation was intentional to create a sense of unfamiliarity in readers' mind towards his father. Through his absence in the story, i guess i wanted to show how he was almost absent from Bright's life too and all he has are memories of his father he can tell people. We do know that he was never a responsible father to Bright and a loyal husband to his mom but what exactly was he like... we don't know because bright himself doesn't know and it's him who's telling the story. I have left it ambiguous and on readers to decide what kind of character he was. Hope that makes sense.

....

"Hey dad.." I said on the voice message, "it's me. Bright. Hope you are fine."

I glanced outside, it looked like it would rain, with sky loaded with grey clouds. I was sitting in my bed, holding the phone in my hand, breathing deeply to keep myself in place. It was a few days after my previous session with Adam that i finally found the courage to look up for ways to contact dad. Mom was not in touch with him. Nor was I. I talked to his ex colleagues from Chirang hospital who might have his contacts and it was a struggle, considering dad did not really leave much behind for people to catch up with him.

"I hope you don't mind me calling" i said, "I wouldn't call again anyway. Just wanted to say that..uhm..i - i wish you could be a good father to me. You have said things that hurt me. May be you didn't mean it but you shouldn't have said those things at all-"

A loud roar in the sky disrupted me. I looked outside. It had started to pour down heavily.

I continued, "But i forgive you. I know it's crazy because you don't even need my forgiveness" i chuckled lightly, "but I need it. I need to forgive you so I can move on. I have no hatred for you dad. May be you were struggling with things as well. I just wish you'd have talked to me and mom. We were family..."

"Anyways" i inhaled sharply, "hope your new family is kind to you as well as you are to them. I forgive you..."

I said that more to myself than to him, "yeah. Uhm..that's it. You don't have to feel forced to call me back. Trust me. Mom and i are fine without you. But we have nothing but good wishes for you dad. Live well.."

I shoved the phone aside and laid in the bed, closing my eyes to feel the sting in them. A tiny drop made it to my cheek, i wiped it slowly. I felt lighter than i had in so many years. I slept on to the idea of liberating the little Bright from years ago, trembling in the bed when his dad bursted on him. I think i slept for hours and when i woke up, the clouds were gone. The sun was out from its shell.

So was I.

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"Win is what?" I asked in surprise.

"You heard me" phi Earth sighed on the other side of the phone, "he told me the air of this place bites him now. Naurburi reminds him of mom. Bangkok and Chirang remind him of you..."

"I understand" said i, smiling lightly, "I think it's great. Playing under a renowned Korean agency will polish his skills and earn him recognition. He was anyway born to swim across the countries."

"We miss you dude.." phi interrupted, "dad, me, Win."

"I'll visit Naurburi soon" i promised, "i needed some time. I'm fine now though. Just need to finish this one more thing."

"You should hurry. His flight is in three hours."

We cut the call and i grabbed my keys before running towards the door. Win was leaving for Seoul that day. Water Wings had signed a contract with Korean sports agency for an atheletic and cultural exchange programme, under which Win was to be trained in Seoul for four years while the agency took care of his contests. It would have been a massive boost for him and it thrilled me to think he was officially going to take a major leap in his swimming career. I sprinted towards the door and clumsily, opened the door to see a startled Win standing in front of me, taking me off my guards.