happiness is a butterfly

watercolor eyes

Her first reaction was to run back in.

Walking away from Nate's I love you was hard. At the time, she had felt confident and smug- that she had the upper hand. But the moment she stepped foot outside, the reality of what had just occurred set in for her.

As she sat in the back of her Uber, still wearing Nate's t-shirt, she couldn't stop the tears that came out. She sat there examining every little bit of their conversation, dissecting his words.

So he wasn't getting back with Maddy? So he did love her?

Cassie was confused. The confident girl who had stood up to Nate had now been replaced by a blubbering mess who was worried she had pushed him too far. What was she thinking by blackmailing Nate?

A whole range of emotions went through her during that 10 minute ride home. Anger, hurt, love, craziness.

By the time Maddy's birthday came around the next day, Cassie was desperate to have more answers.

She had handed Maddy a scrapbook of their friendship, and never had she felt more like a fraud. As Maddy told her Nate would be stopping by, Cassie's heart had not stopped beating like crazy. Her hands were clammy and the drinks kept pouring. How was she going to survive this?

Seeing Nate at the door of her house had sent her into a tailspin. Gone was any control she had. The Tiffany bag in his hand didn't help, is he proposing to Maddy?

For a moment she had envisioned him coming in to confess his love for Cassie and swoop her away. But this wasn't some fairy tale, it was a fucked love triangle with her best friend.

As Cassie continued to drink, her mind shifted from sadness to resilience. Nate loved her, he had said so himself. He couldn't love Maddy all that much if he was into her, right?

As she put on her sexiest swimsuit, she knew she wanted to tease Nate in front of Maddy. Test his self control. I know you, lover. And she hadn't missed the way his eyes had skimmed over her body, focused on her breast that she knew he loved playing with. Maddy has no boobs- stop it Cassie.

By now reason had left the house and as Cassie stumbled into the hot tub, accidentally falling on Nate, she couldn't help the spark she felt being that close to him. As she lay sexily next to him she thought herself pretty ahead of the game. Am I tempting you, Nate?

And when Maddy and Nate both confirmed they were no longer together, Cassie's heart had made room for a little hope.

And when Maddy proceeded to share all the things Nate had been saying to her, Cassie's heart had been shattered.

And when Maddy said Nate had asked her to have babies with him, well she couldn't help the vomit.

In that moment she had felt such sadness, such shame for what she had done. For what she had allowed herself to believe. For trying to steal Maddy's future.

And as Nate walked past her to bring Maddy a towel, she had felt that feeling further set in.

Her mum would tuck her in and she would pass out crying, not even seeing the I'm sorry she got from Nate short after.

Your love stings like blood and a lemon. Why do you leave me with watercolor eyes?