happiness is a butterfly

million reasons

Nate's grandparents are visiting for Easter.

The imminent arrival of Beverley and Bud Jacobs throws the whole household into a tailspin. Cassie can feel the tension all week as the odd family prepares itself to put on a show.

Cal, who is yet to inform his parents about their separation, has asked them to play family for one last time. She's not quite sure what he offered Marsha in exchange, as she surprisingly agrees to go along with it and spends the week manically cleaning every surface of the house. Anyone would think her mother in law would be walking around with a white glove.

Cassie is definitely not used to this kind of fanfare in her old household.

Cal comes over every day with his crew to have odd repairs completed.

Marsha polishes silverware like her life depends on it.

Aaron gets a haircut, which was a huge milestone for the lazy stoner.

For some reason, Nate is also nervous at the thought of seeing his grandfather.

"I don't understand why you're so worried, bro." Aaron reassures his younger brother one afternoon while they kill time in the pool. "You know Grandad is going to take one look at Cassie and throw money at you."

"What do you mean?" Cassie asks innocently from her spot at the pool's edge.

The two brothers had been playing ball in the water whilst she let her body tan in preparation for summer. She kept an eye on Pumpkin, her trusty new companion, who was busy running around with his stick and annoying Cal's much larger guard dogs, Fender and Hutch.

There was an odd sense of normality in the air, a calm within the chaos.

"What I mean is Bud Jacobs has a bit of a wandering eye..." Aaron explains with a smirk on his face. "Plus he like hated Maddy, so you're sweet."

It was true, Bud was a die hard Republican who would definitely appreciate Cassie's all American girl look. Plus, he did enjoy looking at pretty girls as proven by the collection of centrefolds the brothers usually found hiding in his garage. And yes, Nate clearly recalls Bud and Maddy having a very heated conversation about the confederate flag and him referring to her as a mouthy little thing.

Still, Nate felt some unease about his Grandad visiting. He was an austere man with big aspirations for his grandson and disapproval for his son. Bud was also the founder of their construction business and, although retired now, Nate understood he would still need him in his corner to take over the business.

And as pretty as he knew he would find Cassie, there was no telling how impressed Bud would be at the prospect of another teenage pregnancy in the family.

"Shut up." Nate warns his brother by splashing water his way. His tone is playful though and the two brothers engage in a little joke fest about the situation.

"Just wear something low cut." Aaron adds with a smirk and small wink Cassie's way. She feels her cheeks go red from embarrassment as Nate laughs at Aaron's jokes.

She didn't say much at the time, but she felt cheap and dirty about the way Aaron spoke about her and Nate's amusement. When she showers, she feels like rubbing her skin raw as their little laughs replay in her head.

She voices her disappointment later in bed, taking Nate by complete surprise as his hands were travelling up her body expectantly.

"In the pool, with Aaron." She clarifies at Nate's confusion, while his face hovers over hers searching a read on her emotions.

"Aaron is a fucking idiot." He finally responds with annoyance, exonerating himself fully from the accused crime. "Don't listen to a word he says."

With his explanation out of the way, he rubs his body against her's. Cassie can feel his hard on pressing against her hip and his mouth on her neck, it feels really good but uses all her willpower to not give into his advances.

There was no denying for Cassie that her beloved boyfriend could often be guilty of a little hypocrisy- because it was totally acceptable for him to storm out during a play put on by her sister but she was to smile and agree with his brother's suggestion she parade her body in front of their grandfather.

"So why didn't you say something then? All you did was laugh about it." She pushes, not ready to let this argument drop, with her small hand pressed against his chest to push him away from her.

He dismisses her feelings by arguing the laughing was at their Grandfather's expense, and to some extent he was probably telling his truth but completely ignoring how his actions had made her feel. This wasn't a surprise, she knew Nate had little concern for matters that didn't affect him directly.

She can feel the slight frustration in the way he says her name and how he pinches the bridge of his nose and how his body rolls away from hers with a heavy sigh. This wasn't a surprise, she knew Nate didn't like getting called out on his wrongdoings.

And Cassie, well she's almost ready to drop the argument, because as much as she is upset, there is always that lingering fear inside her that she will push him too hard and he will get over her. Stop loving her.

Make it easy for him to love you, she would always repeat to herself.
But then he throws a whatever her way which makes her blood boil.

Before she knows it, she's calling him a jerk. And then he's calling her fucking crazy.
She says he's a fucking hypocrite, in tears. He calls her immature and cry baby.

They spiral into a verbal diarrhoea of name calling and raised voice. She watches his long body throw himself out of bed in a huff. He watches her skin go red and blotchy from anger as she sits up in bed. She watches him pace and shout. He listens to her cry and hyperventilate.

Eventually their voices lower and their chests heave. They lie back in bed facing one another, as the adrenaline from their fight simmers down.

"I don't want to live in the past-" She begins, her watery eyes looking into his. "but you laughing took me back to all the things you said about me in the past...all the name calling and jokes from you and the boys."

"That was before-"

"I know." She interrupts. "But it's hard to just forget it, you know? And we're having a baby so I don't want to be seen as that girl anymore, I want people to respect me as your partner but you need to show it first."

"I get it." He admits, as his finger wipes the small tears under her eyes. His mind wanders back to all the names he had called her over the years, the lewd gestures, the laughs in the corridor, the nudes passed around like a joint. And he would be lying if he said he didn't feel a little shame at how he had treated her. "I'm sorry about what I said and for today."

So she looks into his eyes and she lets him kiss her lips and she hopes he means it all.

I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away but , baby, I just need one good one to stay.