happiness is a butterfly

addicted to love

Rue wasn't sure what possessed her to do it.

It was probably because she was off her fucking face, as usual. Or maybe because she was pissed off at Jules. Or maybe because she was over listening to Maddy whine about Nate.

But she had done it and now she couldn't take it back.

"I don't know Kat, it's gone." Maddy's voice sounded frantic as she spoke to her friend in the bathrooms of the bowling arcade.

"Are you sure? Did you look properly?"

"Yeah I fucking looked!" And as Maddy's tone got more aggressive, Rue's annoyance at the situation increased. Couldn't they just shut the fuck up and let her bomb out in peace?

"Do you think Nate took it back?"

"He hasn't been to my place in weeks. Fuck fuck fuck."

As the two friends continued to argue over the whereabouts of an undisclosed item, Rue's foggy brain started to complete her own analysis of the situation.

Maddy had something of Nate's.

Maddy had lost said thing.

Maddy was freaking out.

She really struggled to understand her peers' obsession with drama. She also struggled to understand Maddy's obsession with that piece of trash Nate Jacobs.

The thing about Rue was that people often underestimated her attention to their life. Because she was always so out of it, everyone just assumed she had no clue about what was going on.

But Rue saw a lot. And knew a lot. And hid a lot from them.

That day though something within her sparked and she felt like dropping a few bombs. Probably because everyone was always so hypocritical when it came to her. Always judging her, crucifying her for submitting to her addiction. So quick to examine every little behaviour and thing she did.

Who were they to judge?

Truth was, they were all slaves to their addictions.

Maddy was just as bad as her. Like every addict, she chased the highs that came from being with Nate despite the lows. She craved his love and his attention, despite the warpath. She was incapable of making good decisions.

And Rue understood that better than anyone else.

But Maddy was lying to herself. So was Cassie. And Jules. And Kat.

They were all hypocrites.

"Does anyone else know about it?"

"Only Cassie."

Rue chose that moment to make her presence known, and as she made her way to the sink, abruptly interrupting their conversation, she couldn't help the next words that came out.

"Why would you tell Cassie about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"She's been fucking Nate for weeks."

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah.

It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough. You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love.