happiness is a butterfly

melrose meltdown

Their return to school was met with stares and whispers.

Cassie was used to this now though, as her relationship had become a bit of a Zoo attraction when it came to her peers. Plus, now that news of her pregnancy had circulated the halls and social media, they drew even more attention than usual.

Since Lexi's play and the discovery of baby Jacobs, more drama had happened in town which took some of the attention off the happy couple.

And that was news that their local molly pusher Fezco had been taken into custody after an intense shootout with a SWAT team. Apparently some guy was found dead on the couch, Faye had been rushed to the hospital with a bad gunshot wound and Ashtray had been killed in the crossfire.

Cassie would hear from her mother that Lexi was distraught at the news, as she and Fezco had been good friends. She found it frustrating that her mom was so understanding of Lexi liking a drug dealer but her being with Nate was the end of the world. Suze would ask her to reach out to Lexi, but Cassie would just ignore her.

She mentioned Lexi had asked to go visit him in jail, but Suze had refused which caused a huge rift between mother and daughter. Cassie knew Suze would eventually relent and let Lexi do as she wanted.

Someone else would tell her in the toilets they heard Lexi had asked their mom to mortgage their house for bail money, but Suze had said no. Truthfully, Cassie thought to herself, that house had been remortgaged so many times there was no money left to go around.

She watched her sister return to school a few days after her, but they didn't say much to each other. They awkwardly brushed shoulders in the hallways or met each other's gaze in the cafeteria. As much as she was upset with Lexi, it saddened her to see her being comforted by her friends and not her own sister. But actions have consequences, and she was not ready to let that anger go.

She immersed herself in trying to improve her grades, preparing for motherhood and being a good girlfriend to Nate. Life was good, for the most part.

She had left the cheerleading squad, as nobody wants a pregnant cheerleader and training with Maddy was not the best idea.

She would spend her afternoons at the Jacobs house either with Nate or waiting for Nate to come home from practice. Marsha had come back from her holiday a new woman and was back to taking care of the household. She would make these nutritious and elaborate dinners, like roasts with multiple sides, which tasted delicious. They made her miss Suze's last minute stir fry with wilted vegetables or their two-day-old take out dinner on a Wednesday.

She got along well with Marsha and, despite Nate's anger towards his mother, from Cassie's observation she was a pretty decent mom to her boys.

There was this one incident though.

Cassie had been tanning by the pool all afternoon and had gone inside to get herself a snack. Her stomach hadn't quite popped yet, but her usually toned flat tummy now had the tiniest swell to it. She felt a bit self conscious about it but Nate loved resting his hand on that protruding spot every night.

Marsha had been sitting at the kitchen counter with a glass of wine in front of her. It was a little uncommon for her to be drinking this early in the afternoon, so Cassie could only assume something had triggered her. She could feel her staring at her as she got some food out of the fridge.

"You remind me so much of me when I was your age." She told her with a half smile on her face. "So young and in love, Cal and I were the same- we couldn't keep our hands off each other." She added with a sigh. "You better hope you keep that body after this baby, or you might end up where I'm sitting."

Cassie gave her an awkward smile as she continued to make herself a sandwich, not quite sure what she was supposed to say back to that statement. Although, she suddenly didn't feel all that hungry. And after that conversation, she started doing some pregnancy friendly pilates exercises while Nate trained in the home gym.

Things with Nate were going well. Living together made their once clandestine romance feel like a real relationship. They got to wake up in each other's arms and fall asleep to each other's breathing. They were excited about welcoming a new life together. She felt so loved.

She had everything she ever wanted.

It was a hard balance trying to not cling to Nate all the time and also not feel completely alone. She tried to give him space, but it was a bit hard when she lived with him and was not talking to anyone else in her life.

After the drama at the last party she had gone to, Cassie had made the executive decision to skip on the next few weekend parties. As much as she wanted Nate to stay home as well, she knew he would end up a caged animal and explode. These parties, the glory of being the star quarterback, the cool kid, it all gave him the validation he needed.

So she let him go and have fun.

She would look at her phone and think about calling her sister, or scroll through instagram and watch what her old friends were doing. She sat at home, watching TV with Marsha or catching up on some school work in their bedroom.

Sometimes, when no one could see, she would shed a few tears.

But then Nate would come home and give her a passionate kiss and rub her stomach and she would feel so ungrateful.

It's funny in life, how could she feel so happy and so sad at the same time?

I'll be crying on your milk-white sheets

Hoping one day we'll marry in a house you'll build around me