happiness is a butterfly

where you lead

Ten little fingers, ten little toes...kind of.

Although her baby hadn't quite reached double digits like his father, something she was definitely glad about, he was still much larger than what she expected a newborn to be.

With long skinny legs and peachy blonde fuzz on the top of his head, Harvey Bennett Jacobs had been the talk of the maternity ward. It also explained why she had felt so uncomfortable in the last weeks of her pregnancy.

"I told you he would be tall- You better give away all those newborn onesies you got him." Marsha had told her in a teasing voice, holding his little-for-an adult but huge-for-a-newborn feet in her hand. "He looks just like Nate as a baby, he has the same chin and nose."

They were all completely smitten with him.

Cassie had managed a little uninterrupted skin to skin time with her baby before her room was flooded by constant arguing over who would get to hold him next.

A pass the parcel baby edition, in a room full of seriously messed up individuals, all in awe of an innocent little baby.

The Jacobs, who had barely spent any time together since that disastrous family lunch, were embraced by the bubble of happiness that Harvey's arrival had brought. Cassie was both surprised and pleased to see Nate and his father spend time together without being at each other's throats. As Cal's arms rocked Harvey, or as his hand rested reassuringly on Nate's shoulder while he held his own son, there was an unspoken agreement that no feud between the Jacobs men could dampen the happiness of that moment.

His middle name was, obviously, in honour of Nate's little brother. Cassie had loved the name enough to suggest it as his first name, but Nate wanted his son to have every chance in life to be completely himself - without any of the added expectations that came with carrying somebody else's name. Still, the mention of the missing Jacobs had sparked within the fractured family a fleeting moment of unity and shiny eyes. There were discreet hand squeezes, brief hugs and quick fingers drying any little tear that may have escaped.

There was a serenity in the room that gave everyone a small sense of relief. And Cassie was determined to be lulled by this fragile moment of harmony for as long as possible.

But as Cassie observed Nate and his family finally display a feeling other than disharmony, she couldn't help the lingering feeling of sadness Lexi's absence caused on an otherwise joyous day.

Much like the Cassie who would marry Nate felt like a complete stranger to Lexi, the Lexi who would miss a monumental moment in Cassie's life felt foreign to her.

However, Lexi had ceased all interaction with Cassie from the day she married Nate. Numbers were blocked, social media accounts were unfollowed, matching charm bracelets were thrown in drawers to be forgotten. It made Lexi feel like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and replaced with an aching hole in her heart.

Because as much as she loved Cassie, their relationship was a toxic element of despair in Lexi's life.

Where Cassie was meltdowns and sneaking out, Lexi was apologies and study sessions. Where Cassie was shiny blond and icy blue, Lexi was plain brown and warm chocolate. She presumed it was like that in any household, where one sibling got to live to one extreme and the other to the opposite. Polar opposites made from similar cells.

Lexi found it interesting that for someone so painfully normal and boring as herself, her life was filled with inherently abnormal and chaotic people.

From her drug-addicted father and best friend, her alcoholic mother, her self-obsessed and self-destructive sister and her criminal (ex) boyfriend, Lexi's boring day to day was scattered with moments of insanity driven by the unhinged characters making up the novel of her life.