[A.N. Comments to retort to people who piss you off and or hit on you! Enjoy! You can thank me later. Keep in mind, these are only meant to be used against other douché bags, and you may be punched in the face for saying some of these...]
You: Hey did it hurt when you feel from heaven?
Person: Because you're an angel right?
You: really...? Because I think you landed on your face.
You: I turned in a paper.
Person: there's a mistake here and here-
You: your face was a mistake.
Person: Hey bby you're *insert douchey pick up line*
You: Technically, if I am a "baby" the fact you're hitting on me is sexual misconduct against a minor. *walk away like a boss*
Person: I'm not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together.
You: I'm not a cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one. *walk away like a boss*
Person: Do you have a map? Because I'm getting lost in your eyes.
You: It's the 21 century, get a cell phone.
Person: do you live in a corn field? Because I'm stalking you.
You: should I call 911 or join the witness protection program?
Final Advice from me: Worst Case Scenario, or if someone is using douchey actions rather than words, counter by screaming: "PERVERT"
Or just screaming and acting half insane.
It'd work either way.
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Bullshit and Rants
Random[!! THIS IS AN OLD STORY THAT IS NO LONGER AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF ME, BUT TAKING IT DOWN WOULD BE LIKE ERASING THE FACT THAT I WAS EVER LIKE THIS. THEREFORE, I WILL NOT CENSOR MY PAST.] Hey friends that like to bitch about things that annoy y...
