Super Trouper

Lovelight

Frida began to open her eyes, she complained a little because she still had her big son on her chest, he snored more than Benny and that meant a lot; she stroked his blond hair and smiled, closed her eyes again, the light coming from her window affected her, last night she forgot to close the curtains. Suddenly and with her eyes closed she began to have memories that had not been in her mind before, it was her with her legs open while she pushed and broke from the pain, that image was so palpable that she could even feel the bones in her pelvis crack.

Suddenly a big blond boy in her arms while he cried at the top of his lungs and next to her, her grandmother telling her that it was her son. Frida opened her eyes again, next to her was that blond boy and it was the first memory she had of her kids in their first months of life. Two tears sprouted from her eyes instantly, it was inevitable not to feel nostalgia, especially for what her loss of memory implied and recovering fragments of her life, of her identity.

•••

Breakfast time arrived, everyone was at the table except for Hans who still hadn't woken up. Benny had prepared breakfast with special help from Heléne and Lotta, this weekend the six of them would be together and it felt good. Frida after that small but special memory that she had early in the morning of feeling quite weak emotionally but happy, she wanted to know more about her and wanted to keep her family with her, she felt that they somehow gave her security that everything would be better; In addition, she liked the apparent good relationship that Benny's children had with her, as well as her children's with Benny.

Hans entered the dining room rubbing his eyes and with his hair tousled, you could tell that he had just woken up. "Good morning, sleepyhead," Frida said as soon as she saw him enter.

"Good morning, what time is it?" He asked walking over to the table and taking one of the French toasts that was on Benny's plate, who didn't hesitate to complain.

"Hey! It's mine," he warned him. "I see you liked taking my place on the bed last night." He joked.

"Sorry, I fell asleep," Hans apologized, taking his seat at the table.

"It's nothing," Benny replied. Frida half-smiled and leaned her head on her hand, which was on Lotta's chair. She didn't say anything the whole time, just enjoyed the happiness of seeing them all there, her heart melted more and more knowing that she could count on her family for everything. Between talking and talking, Benny noticed how quiet and observant she was, it hadn't been much different from the previous months, but now he was curious to know what her thoughts were. "Are you okay?" He asked her routinely, now he always wanted to know her feelings.

"Yes, I'm fine." She nodded and her eyes rested on him. "I want to share something with you," those words surprised everyone because lately she had been a woman of few words and knowing that she had something to tell was good.

"We hear you," Benny answered and caressed her cheek. All of her eyes fell on her.

"This morning when I woke up and saw Hans next to me," she looked up at him, "I had a beautiful memory of when I first held him in my arms," she smiled and her eyes watered. "It's not much, but I'm glad to know that a part of me still stores those beautiful memories that I know are important," she finished and she couldn't even help it when two drops of tears welled up in her eyes.

Benny squeezed her hand and he was crying too, knowing that little by little she had those memories gave him a lot of happiness, he missed her too much and he didn't imagine how complicated it could be not being able to remember who you are; sometimes he wanted to be able to change with her and spare her pain. "That's a lot of progress," he told her, smiling.

"I know. It's not much, but it's better than not remembering anything about you," she assured them.

"In that case, I want to sleep with you more often," Hans also smiled, the fact that his mother could remember the moment of his birth filled him with honor.