Elizabeth Fern

CHAPTER 21

November 30, 2010

Dear Papa,

I knew I did a lot of stupid things. There were times I really regret doing them in the first place…but there were times that I wouldn’t change what I had done. You hated what I chose, Papa-I don’t blame you. A lot of people would react the same way.

I met her last year in our school dance. Alex introduced her to me as his lab partner. Her name’s AJ Raymore. She was so shy and timid, totally my opposite, but we clicked instantly. Since that day, we became friends. I usually tease her ‘Maple’ because her hair looked like maple syrup. We would study together in the library, grab us some cheeseburgers, go to flea markets together, and go have random adventures. She’s really great Papa. I even brought her to our house sometimes but you’re almost always not home because you go home late. We had our thing, Papa: we would go to one place and AJ would take pictures of it. I would write my stories or poems in that same place. We go anywhere: malls, the orphanage, parks…anywhere.

One day, things were…different. AJ and I went star gazing. You were on a business trip that night Papa. The sky was so majestic and so are the stars. I laid down on the soft grass while AJ took snapshots of the sky. She placed the camera down and took my hand gently. We hold hands all the time, we hug all the time, we kissed each other’s cheeks. I’m used to this sort of intimacy with her. But when she held my hand tonight, I felt sparks. Like electricity gushing throughout my body. I won’t lie, I was always…attracted …to her. She told me she loved me and I told her I loved her too. The moment was special, Papa. It was the most captivating moment: a kiss underneath the stars. I love her, Papa.

Two months after that incident, I decided to tell you about what AJ and I have, Papa. I really want you to share my happiness with me. We were eating, Papa, and I was so nervous to tell you. I said ‘Papa, I’m in a relationship’ . Your grip on your spoon and fork tightened and your face went grim. I swallowed hard and continued ‘I’m in a relationship with Alex-‘. You never let me finish AJ’s name: Alexandra Jane Raymore. You never…let…me…finished. You slapped my cheek and I fell from my seat. You spat words…hurtful words…at me. You called me ungrateful, selfish, stupid, and your favourite word: a disappointment. You left again, Papa, just like the night when I said I was quitting the team. I’m crying as I write this letter Papa. I’m so sorry. I never got the chance to tell you

Alex stopped reading and looked at me. “She never finished the letter, Mr. Meyer”.

Alex’s breathing became hard, he was trying to stop himself from tearing up. His voice was shaking. “Lizzie…her illness attacked her before she could write more”. He handed the letter to me. There were specks of blood…and tears.