Deidre's Midnight

27

That following weekend, I am on my way to Rosewood. After I had sat there for a while in shock, I called Dean. He made a good point, that I would probably regret not going and seeing what my mother had to say. So here I am. Driving back to my hometown.

With my mind lost in thought, it doesn't seem like the drive takes that long. I pull up to the curb and stare out my passenger window at the trailer I grew up in, and had sworn I was never going to return to.

It takes me a few minutes to gather the confidence to get out and start walking toward the house.

I bring my hand up and knock on the door. I hear some shuffling, but it takes a little while before the door opens.

There standing in front of me is the frailest version of my mother I have ever seen. She looks like she has aged twenty years rather than the six it has actually been.

"Deidre," She says in surprise.

"Hi, Mom."

"Come in, come in," she moves out of the way so I can walk past her.

When I step in through the door, I wait for her to shut it and sit down before doing the same.

"You look like you're doing well, honey." She says.

"The city has been good for me."

"I'm glad."

"So you said you wanted to speak?" I feel awkward and I just want to get this all over with.

"Right. I just wanted to tell you, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry."

"Yes, I was a shit mother to you, and you never deserved that."

"It took twenty-three years and you dying for you to realize that?"

"I know. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I knew how bad of a mother I am. I wanted to apologize for all of it."

"Well thank you, I think?" I don't know how to respond to that.

"Oh! I also wanted to make sure you got this." She searches around herself looking for something, before picking up a small box and handing it to me.

"What is this?" I ask cautiously.

"It's everything I have on your father." My head shoots up to look at her. She always told me when I was a little girl, that she didn't know who my dad was.

"You always told me you didn't know."

"Because it always hurt me to remember him. I figured you would just stop asking about him if I told you I didn't know who he was." I stare at her in disbelief. "I know, I know. Already admitted to the shitty mom part, remember."

It's not long after that, that I take my leave. I sit in my car before dialing the only person I wanted to talk to at that moment.

---

"Thank you for meeting me," I say, as he gets out of his car.

"You sounded off when you called." Dillon walks around his car to stand in front of me. "Is everything okay?"

"Not really." I turn and start walking down the hill and he follows.

"I'm surprised you wanted to meet here." He says as we pick our way down the hill.

"I always loved this spot." I had him meet me at the lookout that he had brought me to one of the first times I had met him. Since that night it had become a safe spot for me, and I've missed it since moving away.

We finally get down to the rock and I sit down on it. Dillon sits on the path right next to it and looks at me.

"So what's going on?" He asks me.