CHORALE SANDERS

CHAPTER 6: INSECURITIES

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It was still a bit early in the morning. Birds were chirping in the sky despite the light snowing last night. Chorale was up and wanted to go for a run. She usually did, back in Ghana. But she remembered she had not asked Margarita where the nearest park was so she decided against it, after second thought. She would use the gym instead. She went to the kitchen, filled her water-bottle and was about going out when she felt a sudden urge to throw up. She quickly rushed to the toilet.

She was three months pregnant and her morning sickness was getting so bad. But she knew it was normal, especially because it was her first time. She looked down at her belly and rubbed it. It was only slightly beginning to show.

Slightly.

Their baby was in there. The baby she and Kay had made but now she had to run away with it. She had to keep it away from its father. This was a wrong way to handle the situation. But she didn’t know any other way to go about it. She did not want to burden him with fatherly responsibilities. He did not want this.

A long time ago, a little after she had moved in with him, they went to the wedding of one of her friends, Fatima. The wedding was beautiful. All her childhood, Chorale had always dreamed of a fairytale wedding, and a fairytale life. She already had planned in her memory how her wedding was going to be. When Kay, her perfect man came along, it felt like the last piece of her puzzle had just been fixed. She was yet to learn that, there was nothing such as a perfect man, or a fairytale life.

 The wedding ended smoothly, and after saying their goodbyes, they drove off to a beach. The sunset looked beautiful, and so they decided to take a walk. They left their shoes in the car and walked barefoot on the beach sand. Chorale took Kay’s hand in hers and smiled. She was imagining how wonderful their own wedding was going to be.

“Care to share what’s making you smile so much?” he asked. She had been smiling since they got out of the car.

“Let’s get married at the beach, Kay. It would be so beautiful.” She announced dreamily.

Kay froze for a whole minute, before he pulled his hand from hers, bringing her back to reality.

"Did I say something wrong?” she asked, her voice almost like a whisper.

“Erhm…no, Chorale. Can we go home now? I feel tired.”

“Tell me what is wrong, Kay” she pleaded. Something had changed, and she was worried.

“Nothing.” He was looking everywhere but at her.

If he was going to be moody, then she wouldn’t mind him too. They walked back to the car and Kay drove off.

After about five minutes into the drive back, Chorale couldn’t bear the silence in the car so she spoke up,

“Kay, are you going to talk now?”

His hands were gripping the steer so hard, his veins were almost prominent. His lips were tightly closed and his eyes looked red. He did not even reach out to hold her hand like he always did. Chorale did not understand the sudden change in attitude.

“I’m okay, Chorale.”

“If you are going to be like this, then park the car and let me get down.” She was becoming angry too now.

That earned her a glare in her direction. He parked the car at the side of the road. She was about to get down when he spoke up, “I don’t want to get married, Chorale. Ever.”