CHASING DESIRES

EPILOGUE

NOX'S POV

The heavy rains are pouring around like the sky is mad. A sharp lightning yelled, and thunder roared all over the place.
 
Paunahan sa pag-silong ang mga tao sa paligid, kanya-kanyang hanap ng masisilungan. Mabuti nalang at naka-upo na ako ngayon sa isang stall ng maliit na kainan, kaya safe na ako na di mababasa.
 
Not until a group of friends ran towards my place, they were from the seawall. "P*tang*na, Maria! Wag kang pumasok sa damit ko!" The girl was laughing as she cursed those words.
 
She was still laughing with her friends, even though they were wet from the rain. "P*ta, bibili pa ako ng papaya para kay mama eh. Tsk, ang lakas pa ng ulan." She pouted. 
 
I didn't even realize that they were already inside the store I was hanging out, I was so focused on her that I couldn't even turn to others.
 
I even saw how she looked around as if she were looking for something, but her eyes didn't even stop on me.
 
Di niya ba ako nakita? O napansin man lang?
 
"Sinong hinahap mo, Quin?" One of her friends asked.
 
"Gwapo." She said with a smile, then started talking to her friends again.
 
So she's looking for a handsome man? Then she didn't even see me?
 
And I don't know why I got annoyed because of that. As if I care.

In the following days, I always see myself hanging out on the seawall. I don't know why, and I don't seem to want to find out.
 
"P*ste talaga." I heard a familiar voice. I could feel how my heart reacted because of that; just hearing her voice made me skip my breath.
 
"Arghhhh!!! P*ste talaga!!!" Sigaw niya pa, wala pang masyadong mga tao sa paligid. Lalo na't di pa naman ganon kahapon, at wala naman akong nagawa kundi pakinggan at tingnan nalang ang babae mula sa malayo.

I could feel that she was angry or something, and that's why I was afraid to approach her.

She looks fierce, especially because her thick eyebrows always seem to be touching.
 
I hate myself because I always notice almost every movement of her.
 
Lalo na noong mga sumunod na araw at nalaman ko pang senior high din siya na nag-aaral sa katapat na school namin.
 
I always see her in the afternoon when they go home. I also often see her in the morning, running while laughing because she's already late.
 
I don't know if it's all just a coincidence or if it's me doing it. Since I transferred here after three months of living in Manila, I don't know what's inside my mind anymore. Parang bigla nalang ata itong nawawala satwing nakikita ko ang babae.
 
"Hi, Anjie!" She smiled widely as she called her friend, who happened to be my schoolmate.
 
Her beauty is like a white rose; she looks so innocent and pure. But her personality hits different: she's a fierce kind of girl and has a stance on life. Like an orange rose, which symbolizes power and independence; like a forbidden desire that's impossible to have.

And when our gazes finally met, all I could do was stare at her. I kept all my emotion from showing on my face, especially since she seemed to be reading it.

Nakita ko pa kong paano nag-dikit ang mga makakapal niyang kilay habang nakatingin sa akin, at napahinga nalang ako ng malalim ng tanggalin niya na ang kanyang mga tingin.
 
I didn't even realize I was holding my breath.

God, this is bad.

The next day I saw the girl again. I don't know if I should thank fate or what. I just passed on the PCSO branch, and we talked.
 
Kailangan ko pa talagang mag-panggap lagi na nakikinig ako ng music mula sa headphone ko para lang di niya maramdaman ang nararamdaman ko.

Kaylangan ko pang itago ang lahat sa aking pag-irap ang sayang gustong kumawala sa aking mukha.
 
At satwing napapadaan silang mag-kakaibigan sa gilid ko, ay parang boses at pangalan niya lang ata yong palaging naririnig ko.

I could also always hear her cursing a lot as if that was her hobby in life.

Quin, what a beautiful name that came from a Latin word. Mukhang nababaliw na nga talaga ata ako dahil inalam ko pa talaga yun sa google.
 
In the following days, things got even worse for me because even at their school, I was going just to see her.
 
At alam kong di ako papansin na klase ng tao, ngunit sa babae ay di ko maiwasan.