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ᗩ/ᑎ ᑭ.O.ᐯ
" Nah dude, I can just tell," Ethan, one of the guys from the swim team says, "she was totally one of those kids that were like... really into like, warrior cats, or some shit," his words taper off as he holds back a laugh.
You're close enough to hear what he's saying, and you're sure he has to be aware of this.
You continue scrolling through your phone, not paying attention to what you're looking at, trying to seem busy and not uncomfortable. You hope it looks convincing.
You look behind you, trying to seem inconspicuous. Paxton should be back with your drinks any minute.
"Like," he adorns a falsetto valley girl voice, over exaggerated mannerisms punctuating his words,
"that's bright star, the bitchiest tabby from the rival clan... we've been feuding since that slut stole my sardines."
You don't even remember that much of the warrior cats books you happened to read in elementary school, and even you know that's not at all accurate.
You continue to sit in painful silence, those familiar hot waves of shame beginning to come over you.
"Or like, fuckin'," he continues, feeding off the laughter he's drawing from the group surrounding him, "my little pony or some shit. Like, hi hi, I'm pinky cakes and I'm on adderall!" he continues in a shrill falsetto, letting out a torrent of high pitched giggles.
You stare right through your phone, trying your hardest to ignore the mockery falling thoughtlessly from his lips.
It's really unnecessary. You know you're quiet, you're perfectly aware of how much you struggle to socialize the way most people seem to effortlessly.
Sure, you take solace in the escapism you find in books and movies and tv shows, you have since you were little, but that doesn't mean that you - or anyone for that matter - should be ridiculed for it.
You can't count the amount of comfort shows or little hobbies you've had to drop cold turkey because someone mocked them and you couldn't look at them without triggering shame and guilt spirals.
You feel like you're going to throw up. Your fight or flight response begins to act up, and you jiggle your leg, trying to deny the urge to run as fast and as far as you can.
