The Heart Wants What It Wants *Completed* (Old Version) Being renewed

Better Than The Day Before

{}Though the pressure's hard to take It's the only way I can escape It seems a heavy choice to make and now I am under all{}

{31} I walked back to Sebastian's house and out of the woods; Lidia was still standing there with a worried look on her face. "Did you find him?" I shook my head at her and with a sigh I walked toward my car.

"Maybe he doesn't want to be found." I opened the car door and slipped myself in, bringing the door with me as I started the engine. I glanced at the woods one more time, my eyes catching a red eyes looking straight into my soul.

I stared at him for a few minutes, pressing my eyes closed as the tears threatened to fall and shook my head with a sniff. I put my car in reverse and backed away from the house, turning the car around to leave.

I shifted the car back to drive and drove away from Dust Killers territory and away from Sebastian. The moment I reached my house I rushed toward the door and flashed up the stairs, ignoring the calls of my mother asking me if I was okay.

I yanked my bedroom door open and threw myself in my bed, bawling my eyes out. He didn't trust me when I told him I didn't care what he looks like, that I love him no matter what. He keeps hiding himself away from me, keeping himself in the dark scared of how I may react but I didn't care, because I love him.

My phone beeped and I raised my head up, wiping my tears away. "Hello?" I didn't care how I sound or pretend that I was fine, because I wasn't.

"Rebekah? Just listen. You're the best thing that ever happened to me but I'm too broken for you, full of dark secrets that if I tell you them you'll leave me without a second thought. You're too good for me, my father was right, a beast like me could never find a happy ending." I blinked my eyes away as I leaned up, my hand covering my mouth to suppress my sobs.

"So what now? You're going to let it all go after everything we've been through?" I choked out through my words, my hand running down my hair. "I don't care about your past, I don't care about your secrets and I don't care if you say you're not good for me because I know that you are."

"You think this is easy? You think that you can just say goodbye and end things just like that? It doesn't go like that Sebastian. You may let me go but I will not let you go Sebastian Killers you hear me, I will never let go."

"It's for the best Rebekah, you're making things harder for me." He said vulnerable, his voice breaking. "I have always learned that if you love something you have to let it go."

"I'm making things harder for you?" I gritted out bitterly. "How do you think I feel? It's always me that ends up hurting every single time why me?" I sobbed through the phone, my full blown sobs filling the room and I'm sure that by now the whole house can hear me.

"Every single bad thing happens to me, I'm always the one giving so much and receiving less than I give and I can't anymore. I want to be able to let it all go and say fuck it just once in my life. I want to be the one that walks away and never look back."

"You want to let it go and make things easy for you well fine than, I Rebekah Arden set you free once and for all Sebastian killers. For now on we're going to be just two strangers with a past." I hung up the phone and tossed it aside, curling up as I bawled my eyes out.

The wind whooshed loudly against my window as the rain poured down heavily, my room filling with lightning and heavy thunder. "If you keep crying like this you're going to get the house under water." My father joked as he made his way inside. "See? I made you laugh."

I pouted at him as I sat up, pulling him closer as he sat on the bed. "Who do I have to kill?" He said this time completely serious and I shook my head at him as I sniffed.