You Should Be With Me (Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter 103: Friends (Harry's POV)

And now I'm one step closer to being
Two steps far from you

   The song that I had wrote while the lads and I were on tour was currently playing in the background. It brought back so many memories. I had written it after I broke up with Alannah. I thought back at the time after. The sleepless nights, hoping she was ok. There were nights I wished I had stayed and never left her. I let go of her, and somehow I got lucky enough to have her back in my life.

When I handed her the sparkler, our fingers touched. I will admit, I felt a flutter in my stomach. It had been a while since I felt her touch. I was currently being chased by her around the bonfire. Her hair was down and flowing through the air as I looked back. It feels like we're running a million miles an hour. But I do my best to make sure she doesn't tag me back, although, there were a few close calls.

I feel myself trip over something, and I remember she had taken off her shoes to try and catch up to me. I fall backwards, and see that she almost falls right on top of me. I grab her, hoping to brace her fall so that she doesn't get hurt. I feel myself falling for her again. Both literally and figuratively. I can hear people around us laugh. I'm sure it was a funny scene to have watched. We look in each other's eyes and laugh along. She lies on the ground next to me and we look at the stars and the firework show. I look over at her, taking in her beauty. Even with her hair in her face. 

"I love you, Alannah. I don't want to lose you again," I catch myself saying, sitting up, and removing her hair away from her face.

"Me either, Hazza."

I start leaning in, going for a kiss. Shelly and her possible pregnancy pop into my mind. My mind rewinds, and I pull Alannah in for a hug. 

"As a friend, I mean," I say. 

I let go, and get up from the ground. Offering my hand to her, she takes it. I pull her up, and walk away. I try to avoid her the rest of the night. 

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   Once the party was over, I notice Alannah was staying in the room across from mine. We almost ran into each other in the hallway already once. We were the only ones at the rooms on this side of the house. It was currently 2:20 in the morning. I was woken up by someone screaming. Startled, I jump out of bed to make sure everything is ok. I check around the house, and see that no one else is up. I go to the kitchen area, and grab myself some water. Knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep for a bit, I decide on sitting in the common area and turn the lamp on. 

I hear the floors creeking, and then someone walking down the stairs. I see Alannah pop out from around the corner. Now I truly can't avoid her, clearly. 

"Hey," I say. She jumps a little, I didn't mean to startle her.

"Gosh, Harry. I didn't notice you there," she says. I watch her as she walks to the kitchen, getting herself a glass of water. 

"Sorry, I heard someone yell. I just came down here to make sure everything was ok," I say. 

"Oh, sorry. That was me. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok. Are you ok?," I ask, making sure she was ok.

"I'm fine. Just a nightmare is all."

"Oh," is all I manage to say. 

I feel guilt when she tells me she has a nightmare. How I wish I could've been there for her in that moment. I question if she truly is fine as she says. We sit there in silence for a second.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I'd rather not," she says, but I can tell that something is bothering her. 

I start feeling agitated with her. When I try to be there for her, she doesn't let me. There hasn't been any communication between us since she got engaged to Nick. My mind goes back to her and the news. Alannah starts walking over to me, and sits at the couch that's across from me. I look away, then back at her. I find her looking directly in my eyes and I look back down. Things have gone from awkward to fine, to awkward again tonight. 

"Harry, I don't know what I did wrong. You've been distant. For a while. Ever since you met Shelly...," she starts to say.

My agitation grows even more. I cannot believe that she's saying that about my child's mother. 

"It's not her fault," I say defensively.

"I'm not saying it is," she says, sitting up straighter.

"Then why are you bringing her into this?," I say.

My body starts getting tense. I will not have her talking poorly about Shelly. Especially when we both know what started it all.

"You're the one who got engaged to someone the day after sleeping with me," I say, snapping at her. 

I instantly feel guilty about throwing it in her face. She found someone who made her happy after I broke her heart. She was moving on and so was I. As she's about to say something, I interrupt her. 

"It's fine. It's whatever. I guess we're where we're supposed to be in life," I say, sitting back and try to ease the tension between us.

"I guess," she says, looking down at her water.

"Nick looks like he's making you happy. Shelly is making me happy."

"That's good," I hear her say, as she's still looking down.

"Yup, and we're about to have a baby... I think," I say.

Truth is, I am being distant with her because I need to be there for Shelly. If Alannah and I were meant to be together, the universe wouldn't be pulling us in different directions. I will admit, knowing that I'm possibly a father is stressing me out. 

"Wait, what?" Alannah says, her lifting up.

"Uh, yeah. She hasn't gotten her period," I say, nervously.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, the time of month when-".

"Yeah, I know what a missed period is. Has she taken the test?"

I think about the time Alannah was going through the same thing. We were so young. I had promised to be there for her.

"No, not yet. But you can't tell anyone," I tell her, hoping she'd be there for me like I was there for her all those years ago. 

"I won't," she says.

"Well, I should get back to bed. I have a flight to catch. Good night," I say getting up.

This is our fate. We were never really meant to be. 

"Good night," is all I hear her say.

I can't help but think that this is goodbye.