reconnect \\ dnf

24

(song suggestion: The Gold by The Manchester orchestra & Phoebe bridgers)

george

My stomach is screaming at me to go and eat and I give in because i'm not sure i've ever been in this much physical pain because i'm so hungry.

I throw my blankets off lazily and swing my legs over the side of my bed. My hair is still damp from when I showered last night and it was making me cold so I throw on a random hoodie that was on my floor.

I walk out of room and hear Sap streaming so I walk quietly down the hallway and down the stairs to the kitchen.

"George? What's up?" Dream asks as soon as I walk in the room. "Eating." I answer shortly. I walk to the fridge and look for anything.

"I could make you something?" He asks. I roll my eyes and look over at him. "No it's fine." I look back in the fridge trying to ignore him.

"Are you sure?" He says. I sigh and turn around again, "Yes." I slightly slam the fridge door and look in the pantry.

"George c'mon. Can you just talk to me? You've been acting different these past few days." He asks sounding genuinely concerned.

I quickly turn around. "Dream. I'm just stressed out." I say leaning against the counter and looking him. I'm beyond annoyed.

"You don't think we all are? I have to take care of you and Sapnap all the time and outside of us, I have a life to take care of!" He says raising his voice.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I say standing up straighter and crossing my arms. What the fuck is his problem today?

"George you're being so complicated! I can't help you if you won't let me!" He says walking around the counter and across from me.

I'm complicated? Seriously? "I don't want your help. Stop wasting your time." I rebuttal. There is genuinely no point in helping me.

"You don't want my help? Because on the days when you can't eat, or sleep, or even get out of bed, it really seems like you want my help. I've done nothing but be there for you since the day I met you!" He says raising his voice.

A small part of me feels bad, but the angry part of me feels so much more. "You want to know something super funny?" I say in a sarcastic tone.

"Go on." He says very clearly annoyed. "I didn't even want to reach out to you or Sapnap. I blocked you on purpose. It was just lucky for you that I ran into you guys." I say, matching his volume and getting louder.

Suddenly Sapnap appears at the doorway by the stairs, "George what the actual fuck?" He asks hurt and walking into the kitchen.

"This is bullshit George, i've been here for you, always. Why the fuck are you acting like I don't matter to you?" He asks putting his hands out.

At this point there's tears welling up in my eyes. "Because you don't." I say. I don't mean it. I love him. But I don't know how else to make this hurt less for them unless I cut them off.

Dream and Sapnap look both equally taken back. We're all crying. I feel so weak. The room is beyond silent and none of us say anything for a minute or two.

"Leave." Dream says, breaking the silence. Sapnap's head snaps up. He has a serious tone on his voice that I know that he means it, and that i've fucked up everything we've ever had.

"Leave?" I ask back. Dream nods and then walks up the stairs. Sapnap looks at me one more time and then does the same thing.

As soon as they're upstairs I let everything crash down. I let my legs weaken and bring me to the ground. I silently cry because God knows if they came down to check on me I would apologize and stay.

I let myself calm down enough that I can see and stand without crashing right back into the floor. I grab my keys and my shoes and go to my car.

I go to the only place I know I can stay and no one will be there.