reconnect \\ dnf

26

Tw: suicide

(song suggestion: lights are on by Tom Rosenthal)

george

"Yes mum. Okay. I love you. A lot." I say hanging up with her. This might hurt her the most. I put my phone down and take a deep breath.

This part is the hardest. I sit at my set up and move everything out of the way and grab a paper and pen. And I write. I write everything and anything.

To the boy I love, to the boy who's never failed to be by my side, and to the strongest women I know, I say goodbye.

I take off my bracelet Dream got me and I put it on top of his paper. I change into the comfiest clothes I own and go into my closet.

I grab the razor that i've been using for months and don't even bother cleaning it.

This is it.

dream

"I'm going to run these over to George's, i'm assuming he's going to want this stuff." I say to Sapnap holding a box of George's clothes.

"Okay, Let me know when your on your way home." He says giving me a sad smile. I give him a thumbs up and then go to my car.

I drive to George's house and get out and then grab the box from the passenger side. I walk up to the door and knock. I have a very bad feeling.

I knock a few more times, if his mom was here she'd answer by now. I place the box on the ground and open the door. It's unlocked.

The house is dead silent. I walk around the downstairs and see nothing. I slowly walk up the stairs. The pit in my stomach growing.

My heart drops as I see the bathroom light on and the door cracked open. Please, please dont let this end how I think it will.

I slowly walk over to the door and push it open. My entire world stops. There's a ghostly figure on the ground, surrounded in red.

My legs fold under me and my hands move without permission from my brain. He's suddenly in my arms. The world around me is spinning and my ears are ringing and George is in my arms and I don't know where I am.

"George? George?!" I say. I know he's gone. But I won't believe it. "I've got you baby, I've got you it's okay, i'm here." I say sobbing.

He lays lifelessly in my arms. He doesn't respond. He's not even breathing. He's been gone for so long. He was alone.

"I'm so sorry my love, I didn't know.. I didn't know. I tried so hard i'm so sorry I failed you.." I sob holding him closer to me. I can feel the warm blood on my chest as it seeps through my shirt but I couldn't care less.

"My beautiful boy.. i'm so sorry." I say pushing a hair out of his face. I grab my phone with shaky hands and call 911.

After it seems like years, they arrive. They're quiet. They know he's already gone. They wait, they wait so long until I tell them they can take him.

They have to rip him from my arms. They ask me if they want anyone here with me. I give them Sapnap's number. They tell me they'll call me back and let me know what will happen now.

I don't move. I can't. I'm frozen. And he's gone. I don't know how long it was until Sapnap here but he's here. He's talking to me and his arms are around me but I hear nothing.

He's sobbing. Sad, ugly, painfully sobbing. I bring him close. I put my arms around him and now we're one. I don't know if i've ever hugged him this tight.

"Dream, i'm going to be right back." He says slowly getting up and going to george's room. I don't move but I watch him.

He comes back with two pieces of paper and a silver bracelet. He hands one to me, it has my name in beautifully messy letters, "Dream."

"You don't have to read it until your ready." He says. He opens his slowly and his hand comes to his mouth to cover the sobs. I hate that he's trying to act so brave.

I slowly open mine. It's overflowing with George.

dream,

i am so sorry. i don't want to sound cliché or anything but please never blame this on yourself. Everything just became too much. When my sister died, i was so mad at her. i thought why would she do such a selfish thing, i understand now. And i know how fucked it is doing this to you knowing how it feels after. i don't want to die dream, I just want the pain to go away. i never got better, you do realize that right? i never got better, it is just a circle of pain. i can't handle the grief. i'm sorry i didn't tell you i loved you back the other day. i just didn't want you to try to save me. there was no more fight in me. and i'm sorry for getting in that argument with you, you're one of the only things that matter to me. you might still be mad at me and never even read this. but it's worth the painful writers hand. please take care of sapnap. tell him i love him. thank you for putting up with me. i have a metaphorical question.. knowing how this ends, would you still love me?

"Yes." dream whispered "A thousand times yes." and tears fell on the paper.

i love you.

love, george

I love you. I love you. I love you. Maybe if I say it enough times our chapter will last longer.

If it wasn't already over.