BEAUTIFUL MESS (AS #1) Completed [REVISING]

Kabanata 48

Answered

What a small world indeed.

Natagpuan ko ang aking sarili na nagmamaneho habang pinipigilan ang sarili na huwag umiyak.

Dumaan muna ako sa flower shop upang bilhin ang paborito naming bulaklak pagkatapos ay bumalik ako sa pagmamaneho.

It's been a years.

He likes the rose because as s
he says, it symbolizes pure love for someone. And it's true.

Hininto ko ang aking sasakyan at pinatay ang makita pagkatapos ay sinuot ko ang nude derby hat dahil tirik ang araw ngayon.

Dinampot ko sa passenger seat ang bulaklak na binili ko at saka lumabas na ako ng kotse.

Stomping my foot on the green grass, the mix memories flashed to my mind.

Mariin akong pumikit at humugot ng hininga.

Tinahak ko ang daan at humigpit ang hawak ko sa dalang bulaklak.

Huminto ako sa tapat ng lapida niya at matagal akong napatitig rito.

I smiled wryly as hot liquid dripped down my cheek. I sniffed and wiped it.

I shouldn't be crying. I should be happy for him because he doesn't feel any pain right now.

He doesn't feel any pain pero sa akin napunta lahat ng sakit. Dahil kahit anong gawin kong maging masaya para sa kaniya, hindi ko magawa dahil wala siya.

Bumuntong-hininga ako.

That what's parents do for their child, right? Parents will do anything for their child. And here I am, trying hard to be happy for him.

Yumuko ako at hinawi ang mga napuntang tuyot ng dahon sa kaniyang lapida saka ko nilapag ang bugkos ng rosas.

“Akihiro Malik Anderson...” I smiled bitterly as I read his name written in a tombstone.

“Hiro, mommy is really really sorry for not visiting you for a years. Something bad happened to mommy but don't worry. I'm okay now. But, not that okay to remember your Dad..”

Tumikhim ako.

“Anyway, Hiro. I've already know who's your father is.”

“And he is my fiancee.” I said happily. “I didn't know na matagal ko na pa lang kilala yung dad mo, I just don't have an idea that he is.”

Humugot ako ng hininga at inayos ko ang suot ng hat na halos liparin na dahil sa lakas ng ihip ng hangin.

“Don't worry. If I finally remember him, dadalhin ko siya rito.”

I fix my dress and did the heel sit position. I removed my hat and laid it down beside me.

Hinaplos ko ang kaniyang lapida at mapaklang ngumuti.

“I'm so sorry, mi love. I did not fulfill my promise to you that I'll only come when I have obtained justice for you. But, don't loose hope. Trust me—Trust mommy. I'll do everything, Hiro.” ngumiti ako.

“Always remember that I love you so much. Every single minute, I'm missing you... I really want to take you home, Hiro. Mommy miss you so much.”

Isang beses ko pang hinaplos ang lapida niya bago tumayo.

Bigla akong napayakap sa aking dress nang umangat ito dahil sa lakas ng ihip ng hangin.

Napatingala ako sa ulap at mukhang hindi naman uulan dahil tirik ang araw ngayon.

“Sabi na nga ba't dito kita matatagpuan.” bigla akong napalingon sa aking likod nang meroong magsalita.

Nagsalubong ang aking kilay nang makita siya.

“W-What are you doing here?” I stammered.

He put his hands in his pocket and then sighs.

“I've watched the cctv clip... I didn't know it was you. I was very drunk that night. But, believe me.. I did everything I could to find you. I used all my sources but...” nagkibit-balikat siya at tinapunan ako ng tingin.

Pamungay ang kaniyang mga mata pero makikita mo ang lungkot at paghihinayang rito.

Siya ang unang bumigay sa titigan namin at binalik ang tingin sa aming harap.

“Every saturday, Harvey used to bring him in my condo. And every time I ask him whose child he is taking to my condo, he always change the topic. Pagbibintangan ko na nga sana siya na niloloko niya yung kapatid ko dahil 'Daddy' ang tawag sa kaniya ni Aki.” natawa siya at umiling. “I would have been the one he called daddy if I had known earlier...”

Bumuntong-hininga siya at tumingin sa akin.

“I am so sorry, Ryne.” he sincerely said.

Hindi ako nakasagot agad dahil hindi ko alam ang aking sasabihin.

I'm talking to Hiro's father. I'm talking to the man I had a one night stand.

“It's all in the past, your sorry wouldn't change what happened to your son.” I said without looking him.

I clenched my fist and sighs, stopping myself from crying.

I should be mad at him but I can’t. Anger can't bring my son back.

If he had only found me—us, he should have been there while I was giving birth to Hiro. He must be the one who wakes up at three in the morning to give me what I want. Siya dapat ang nagbibigay ng mga pinaglilihian ko. He should be the one who make Hiro burp after I breastfeed him.

“Are you mad?” he asked.

Umiling ako at tumingin sa kaniya.

“You sure?”

I nodded and smiled to give him assurance.

“Come,” he motioned his head for me to approach him. Humakbang ako palapit sa kaniya.

Sinandal niya ang ulo ko sa kaniyang matigas na dibdib at mahigpit akong niyakap.

“I'm really really sorry, mahal—”

“—Shhh.” saway ko sa kaniya.

Naramdaman ko ang mahina niyang tawa kaya napangisi ako.

Nanatiling ganon ang posisyon namin hanggang sa meroong akong napansin sa ilalim ng lapida ni Hiro.

Kumunot ang noo ko at kumalas ng yakap sa kaniya.

Heaven Martinez?

Kumalabog ang dibdib ko at tumingin kay Tristan.

Dahan-dahang umangat ang kamay ko at tinuro ang nasa harap.

“W-Who's that?” I stammered.

Tumiim ang bagang niya at umiling na animong hindi ko dapat tinatanong ang bagay na iyon.

“Ryne...”

Umiling ako.

“I'm asking you.” mariin kong sambit.

“Who is that? Tell me.” ulit ko.

Nilibot niya ang kaniyang paningin at malalim na humugot ng hangin tsaka binalik ang tingin sa akin.

Pamungay at meroong halong galit ang kaniyang mata na nakatingin sa akin.

“You were two months pregnant with our baby when you got shot.”

Mahinahon at parang mabigat ang kaniyang loob na sabihin sa akin iyon.

Humugot ako ng hininga nang biglang sumikip ang aking dibdib at sunod-sunod na umiling, hindi naniniwala sa narinig.

Itutuloy...