ECSTASY // B.E

o n e

j e s s i e

"id?" the bouncer raised a brow.

i pulled my driver's license out of my wallet, and i handed it to him. his eyes scanned over it for a moment, he glanced up at me, and he handed it back to me.

"you're good," he used his thumb to point to the door behind him, which let you into the club.

i went inside, and i waited a moment for matthew. he followed after a few seconds.

"i still don't get why you're bringing me here," i sighed.

"to get your mind off of sophia," he placed his arm around my shoulders as we walked further into the club. "you could use this."

"i'm fine, matt, really," i tried to convince him with a small laugh. he sent me a look, and i sighed.

i met sophia in my sophomore year at california institute of arts. we got close pretty quickly, and we eventually started dating. i was very hesitant at first, due to the fact that i had never even been in a relationship before her.

we dated for a little over a year. it was pretty great, and i love her, but...

about two months ago, she tried to propose. i freaked out and said "no." i felt bad, but i was not ready to get engaged or any of that shit.

me saying "no" lead to arguments, and we eventually called everything off. i know i'm the reason we broke up, but i do love her, so it still hurts.

it's not completely my fault though. she should've tried to talk about something as big as that before going through with it.

like... i'm not about to sit here and feel bad about not being ready for all of that.

matthew lead me over to the bar. we both sat in a stool. i propped my head against my hand. i looked down at the bar as i let out a puff of air.

i'm assuming a bartender had walked over, because i heard matthew ask for some drink that i didn't pay attention to the name of.

"do you want anything?"

i glanced up. i raised a brow as i looked at the bartender.

she had short, black hair. she was in an all black uniform; a black, long-sleeved button up shirt that was partly covered by an apron. she had on black pants. her eyes were a light blue that popped and perfectly contrasted with her all black attire.

my eyes darted down to the name tag that was pinned to her apron.

billie.

i licked my lips as i looked back up and met her eyes. "yeah, can i get a, um... you know what? surprise me," i told her.

"surprise you?" she cocked a brow. "any preferences?"

"nah, i'm fine with anything. maybe something strong though."