☆ 𝕋𝕆𝕋𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕐 𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕐! ☆ The Golden Guard | Hunter x Gn!Reader

[18] - but maybe your story ain't so different from the rest?

It's been a while since I've had to make a new chapter oh boy

Yall are getting an extra-long one.... u better love me for it

also made a playlist for the story! link in comments and profile
it's regularly updated as the story goes forward! and the songs from the titles + others are included

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It was all happening again.

You, now stuck in biology, wanted to tear your hair out. Yet again, you'd forgotten your homework. You'd forgotten to do it, and you didn't even bring the worksheet to school.

The teacher had already given you the disappointed look at that. You hated all of it.

When was the last time you'd been able to remember anything? So much had happened the last week alone that you wanted to fall back and cry.

Not just that, but no one understood that you just can't remember.

"Aham," The teacher's familiar throat-clearing startles you, and you realize you haven't been paying attention. again. "Y/N."

You want to end it all.

"I'm sorry, I didn't pay attention again," you apologize.

She sighs at you, again. How many times has she done this today? "I'm just wondering what it is I have to do to get you to be more attentive in class."

You gulped. you were sure everyone in the entire class set their eyes right on you. The troublemaker. The one that never pays attention. The one that keeps causing problems for themself.

"I'll try harder," you laugh a little, having no idea why. You say you'll try your best, do better, but deep down you know it won't come to fruition. Not with how horribly out-of-control everything in your life's been. You wish someone would just understand.

Miss doesn't even answer. She just looks at you, in a way you know all too well. She's disappointed, and there's nothing you can do about it.

You know she's staring, and the class is pin-drop silent. You swear you see the few other students side-eyeing one another.

At some point, you hear a giggle, before realizing it's coming out of yourself. "Aha, I'm really sorry, I am," you say again. The awkwardness is bone-chilling and you just want all of this to be over already. You giggle harder.

She keeps staring at you. So do the other students.

You stutter your words out, feeling a lump stuck in your throat. But you still giggle. "I'm sorry, really, I'm trying--"

"No, no you're not trying, Y/N," Miss says, in this sympathetic tone. It grits your ears. "Is this funny to you? Disrespecting me like this?"

"No! I promise I am really trying," you say, and at this point, you're trying so hard to stifle your completely inappropriate giggles. It's not like you're amused by her, you actually have no clue and you'd wish they'd stop already!

"You aren't," She says again, in almost mocking sympathy. You know she isn't trying to belittle you, she just means well. She just wants her student that just has so much potential to pay attention! "Think of how I must feel, seeing you not paying attention like this. I'm taking this as me being a bad teacher, you know?"

'It's not you!', you want to yell. 'It isn't about you!'

Nothing gets past your throat. You only can gulp down words. But not rising giggles, apparently. How do you even explain this to her? That you just can't focus? You just can't try any harder? You're just incapable of doing more?