𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙇𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙁𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮|| 𝙆. 𝘽𝙖𝙠𝙪𝙜𝙤𝙪

𝙎𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙨

[TW: Talks about y/n's past and current trauma. Descriptive, so you can skip this chapter.]

Nightmares had always haunted you.

Being able to control people's emotions sometimes took a toll on you. How easy it was to make a person feel better when they needed it. The only problem is, you couldn't do it to yourself. There was always a backside to quirks. You had your father's quirk for the most part. He dealt with the emotions, your mother was the change.

You'd started having nightmares about that night though. Your dreams feel like you're drowning, your father's hands wrapped around your neck, the light leaving your eyes. You thought about Pumpkin a lot. Now you're six months pregnant, about five when it first took place.

You thought about Katsuki, Kayoko, and Kyoichi. What would've happened if you didn't grab that knife. God, that knife. You didn't think you'd stab him in the neck. Staring at his body and looking at him choke out on his blood. You killed someone, it being your father at that. 

You weren't used to death. You were a hero, but you've taught your entire career. You saw how Katsuki reacted to seeing the death of someone while on the job. He always went to the funerals, gave the family money, and left something at the grave. He said it helped him cope with the loss. He never blamed himself though, he just knew it was a part of the job.

This was different though. You were the cause of death. Not some random accident, you stabbed your father in the neck. At first, you thought you were fine, and therapy was helping, but your dreams had been betraying you.

Your nightmares felt worse than your dreams. they were vivid. Every time you work up from a bad dream, you'd be in a cold sweat panting. It made you terrified to sleep, and in any other situation you'd just stay up and drink coffee, but you were pregnant and your body needed the rest.

You didn't know how to talk to Katsuki about it. He had started taking care of the kids more, and it made you happy to see him interact with them more, so you didn't want his focus to go back on you.

He wasn't watching you like a hawk anymore, mainly because Carmen and Carlitos were there so you weren't alone anymore. It was June and hot, so if you woke up sweating you'd blame it on the heat.

But then Katsuki got a fan for the room, so now you had to listen to that at night. It was sort of annoying at first, but you got used to it. You didn't get used to the nightmares though. You didn't know what had sparked them, maybe PTSD or something, but now you'd started dreaming of stuff about your past.

It was mainly your time in the orphanage. The years that you didn't walk to talk to anyone about, quite literally the worst years of your life, had come back to haunt your sleep. Your therapist didn't want to give you medication because you were pregnant, so you were stuck.

Tonight's dream was harsh. It didn't start bad, it was just a normal dream. You were sitting in the living room. Kayoko was playing a game with Kyoichi on the floor while you and Katsuki sat on the couch. When you looked down, you noticed the lack of a baby bump under you. 

"Kat, where's Pumpkin?" Your voice was soft, so soft you barely heard it. But when you looked up Katsuki's face had no emotion. "Katsuki... where's the baby?" This time your voice was harsher, and you gripped your clothes where your stomach sat. "Where are they? Where's my baby?" Panic sat in as his hand rested on your shoulder.

"y/n, you lost the baby months ago."

You woke up like how you'd been for the last few weeks, gasping for air in a cold sweat. You looked down, seeing the curve of your bump. Your hands shook as they reached for the shirt, slowly pulling it back to look at the stretched skin of your stomach.

You rested both hands on your stomach, trying to feel something, anything, to find a sense of life. But a quick kick to your side left you with a sigh of relief. "You okay?" Your head turned to look at Katsuki, sitting up with his glasses up. He looked concerned but you can tell he hadn't been up for along time. 

"I need to talk to you."