Yea, ^^^ this picture isn't related to the chapter at all, but I love it soooooo....
It's there.Yea, uh- enjoy!
TW's:
None
Please let me know if you find any!———
Sapnap POV:
I can't believe I just did that. I actually cannot believe I just broke up with the love of my life. I don't regret it, though, it's better this way. I know he can't see it, but he won't hurt as much this way. He won't be stuck trying to love and care for someone like me, someone who takes, and can't give.
The thought alone of Karl sends a chill down my spine, and an earthquake of butterflies to erupt in my stomach. I push my feelings down, of course I still love Karl, I love him with all my heart, but right now, I am the worst person for him.
Karl POV
He broke up with me. He left me. How could he leave me and say that it's for me? I loved him, I still love him! I didn't, I don't, want this.
"He never loved me." I whisper to the empty room. Well, apparently, the mostly empty room.
"No, no he does. If he didn't love you, he wouldn't have left you at all, he would have let you give him all you could, and taken it with no thought to what he could give back. Why would he try and give you a better life, if he didn't love you?"
"This isn't a better life." I respond, this time my words muffled by a large stuffed animal, a big cat squishmallow. Granted, the plush isn't mine, it's George's, but he wouldn't dare take it back, because he knows I'd blackmail him. "This is pain."
"I know it is. I know how you feel. I've been in the same spot, except I left, and it was all for me."
"What do you mean?"
"I did it for him, in a sense, being that my presence wasn't doing him any good. But I mostly left for myself. I still feel like I could have made us work, like if I would've worked harder, I would have been able to help him through his shit and everything would be as it was."
"Look, I don't know what you're going through, I don't know what you've been through. But I do know that you don't seem like the selfish type, so I'm sure you wouldn't have left just because you wanted to. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but it would be nice to have a break-up buddy, don't you think?"
"Yeah, thanks." He says semi-awkwardly, while rubbing the back of his neck, awkwardly cutting us off into silence.
"You aren't very good with complements." I state matter of factly, trying to look serious, but eventually breaking out into giggles at the defeated look on Alex's face. He laughs along, and we are happy for a moment, before the laughter dies out and silence consumes us again, though it isn't as awkward this time.
I hear a sigh from beside me, and I turn towards Alex--presumably the one who sighed, unless we have an infestation of loudly breathing rats or some shit--who is sitting beside me on the bed, dried tear tracks staining his cheeks, which seem wildly out of place alongside his beautiful smile and adorable laugh.
"Yeah? Well neither are you." He giggles again, and we fall back into the same silence, off-and-on comfort-stillness, the kind you would hear in a forest at early morning, or a meadow at midday; the quiet of life that is just out of reach. "How are you holding up?"
"Honestly? Not that great, we'd been "basically-dating" for a year, and I haven't regretted anything about our relationship once. I guess the month we've been official was too much for him, and I was just too blind to see how guilty he felt about having to be taken care of." I put air-quotes around the words "basically-dating," it's a term me and Sap use to distinguish our time before we were dating that was essentially us challenging each other to see who would confess first.
"I'm sure he just needs some time to himself. After he gets his life together, you can explain to him how you feel about the whole situation and how it's okay for him to be weak every now and then."
"That's- that's actually great advice. Thank you."
"Anytime." His smile is so genuine, I didn't peg him as the type of person that smiles a lot, but, then again, I hadn't pegged myself as the kind of person to cry this much.
———
Hey guys, it's been a while!
Sorry this chapter is kind of short, hopefully then next one will be longer.
Much thanks to my editor brigHt_orange_juIce
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FanfictionCURRENTLY UNDER EDITING!!!! ⚠️NO NSFW CONTENT!⚠️ Alexis is heartbroken, insecure, and unstable. Karl is anxious, caring, and indecisive. Sapnap is stubborn, upbeat, and overprotective. How could they possibly work? Will they work? How many more secr...