Meant to be?

Trapped

Thank you guys so much for the 1.3k reads! Holy sh*t, that's insane!

TW:
-mentions of abuse
-panic attack
-mentions of blood

———

Alex POV:

I've been curled up in a ball, on the floor for who knows how long, crying. Crying, crying, crying. The dam is broken and there's no one to fix it. I'm alone; alone with my past, alone in this god forsaken house, alone with him.

I woke up, and I want to go back to sleep. Back to George, back to Karl, back to Sap, back to the comforting sound of them squabbling over nothing, back to water fights while cleaning the dishes, back to late nights playing Minecraft, back to teasing my roommates, back to streaming in the early hours, back to forgetting, back to happiness, back home.

But that's gone.

They are gone.

They were a dream. It was all a dream. And to think, for a moment I thought there was love. Now the thought of live is bitter to the thought, attachment is weakness. I know that now. I knew it before, but now I'm sure I'm right. All attachments bring is pain, so why make them?

'But- they made me so happy. I-I was finally happy!'

I've been awake for what feels like days, but has probably only been hours. Crying, and crying, and crying. Wearing myself down to the bone, letting the tears carve their way through my skin.
My heart feels full of lead, and I have no means to go on.

Crying hurts, but I don't stop. Breathing hurts, but I can't stop. I'm hyperventilating and shaking, but that doesn't matter. That's not even where the pain begins.

I've only encountered Schlatt twice since I woke, and both times have ended in more pain, but I don't even try to fight back. Why should I? I have nothing left to live for. They're gone, and I've lost hope. Why should I even try to go on? Why should I care what happens to me, when they aren't real?

I shouldn't. I don't.

———

Have a sad.

Take care of yourselves! Don't forget to eat at least one meal (try for two, if you can) and drink water!

<3