Damage On You (COMPLETED)

Notes

It was a windy and cold night of November 2021. I'm laying on my bed, in the dark, with my phone off, and contemplating what the hell I'm doing that time. Or am I really doing something at that moment? None.

I just finished writing my other book Louie and of course, I am having a rest after sleepless nights and a worn out creative mind. But weeks passed and I knew I ought to be writing a new book... but I'm not. Why? I don't even know.

Maybe I'm still tired.

Maybe I don't want to write anymore.

Or maybe I don't want to focus on the passion anymore because what does it benefit me? Am I earning money from staring at my phone, typing relentlessly, and spending the time I should be sleeping but awake under my blanket, thinking about what I will write for tomorrow's time.

I remember telling myself, "Bakit last year, November 2020, may ginagawa ako? Bakit busy ako that time? Bakit ngayon, wala na?" I could never tell if I ran out of ideas to write (when in fact I've got 200+ drafts on this app) but I know I'm feeling woebegone that night I almost cried.

Even though I already finished writing this one, figuring out my pouring emotions that time is still an enigma to me. But does it still matter anymore? When I managed to finally come back writing last December 18, 2021?

I had three ideas that I came up with when I woke up the very next day: A story about this young man that encounters a dealer; A story about this man wanting to be away from anyone because of the fear he's gonna end up damaged again; and a family-oriented book. By now, you can tell I went for the second choice: for Miguel's story.

Originally, this book is called Prise Your Love in my first draft, I thought the one that will narrate is the POV of Primo himself. But when I opened my Notepad and started scribbling, it ended up being in Lorenzo Miguel's POV.

I chose to remain it that way, in hopes that I'll still get the justice of the title itself but not until I reached Chapter 18 I noticed I'm going a little farther from what I planned; I had no choice but to replace it with another one.

Unlike some of my stories that are based on real people, this book is an exemption. Everything that happened in this book, the names I've come up with, the scenarios, the companies, the universities are all part of my creative process.

Writing this Notes feels surreal, given the fact there were days I almost gave up writing because of the time schedule I can't fix; you see, I'm taking my studies seriously as I'm a first year college student like Primo was and it's hard to balance my time writing and my time opted for studying. But look where I am! If you really want to achieve one thing, the bumpy road is not a problem; it's your choice that will fall from a problem, whether you'll end up taking it or not.

The last four months of my life writing this one is a rollercoaster ride-just like what the other books brought me to and I'd want to do it again and again. Writing is my escape; my characters kept me sane.

All of my books meant so much to me and I hope they will end up the same to anyone who read this amazing book. To myself, for not giving up even if life's asking you to, you've been brave. And I hope that doesn't fade.

Miguel and Primo's story might end in this part but their legacy and stories will remain forever, and I hope they brought you all the lessons they gave without realizing it at all.

See you on my next one? I don't know when or if I'll start writing that one but I'll be serving you now a sweet and bitter type of story, so stay tuned!

Thank you very much! And I love you so much it hurts.

- jossmstr :)

START: December 18, 2021

END: April 25, 2022 (1:19 AM)