ain't first, ain't last

13

i don't know
where to start
or how to
filled this blank.

should i write
here, my love?

you know,
you hit me
straight right
to my heart.

i don't know
either if it is love
for i am a stranger
to this kind of act.

will you catch me
if i really do love you?

or you'll just let me
be erased into a
fading tattoo?

you are the blank
canvas in my room,
that every stroke
i made the faster
the colors fade.

makes you feel
distinct am i not
allowed to make
you as my subject?

listen, you matter to
my existence.
you occupied
space right
through my mind.

you are like a
meteorite that
amazed me
with your
blazing light,
yet a ruthless one
that got me cracked
when you landed
into my life.

how could you
be like this?

you're such a
beautiful disaster
in my place.

though it's way
too dangerous
i keep reaching
out for you,
not knowing
i'm already bleeding.

you are probably
my death
or my life support,
a nurse to my
wounded bruised
a torturer of my
living corpse.

you invaded me
with your light, 
i trusted you my
little secrets.

we share random
thoughts at night,
yet you left me with
hanging cries.

my apologies,
if i cross the line.

not minding
i went to far
causing me to
fall hard
and drowned
in the quicksand
of your heart.

you are my fatality
under casualty
in my state of calamity
you're such
a blessing tragedy.