ain't first, ain't last

25

staring on my phone screen
still waiting for a notification bell
as this room puts my world to dim.

in every edges, every corner
my walls are still standing,
cornering these voices
that keeps murmuring.

i don't know what's hidden,
a midnight overthinking.

you've got me thinking.

i'm trying to figure it out.

wandering how could
i get out 'cause i think
i need a little breathing.

i want to go.

nah, i won't let go.
please hold into.
damn, it hurts
i know you know.

stay by my side,
i need you.

don't let go.

i can't flip the next page.
i'm stuck inside to walk away,
still waiting for your answer
though you know nothing.

i feel like i'm on the edge,
a little bit impatient.
but i'll just lay here in silence
can't go on, please go on.

this abstract painting
makes my world stop.

analysing what's beyond us.

i don't understand
what's beautiful in that.

too bad, it's too late to realize.

to my unexpected friend
tell me how could i save us?

is there any chance?

'cause i hate to say goodbyes
for it tears me apart inside.

i want to go.

nah, i won't let go.
please hold into, 
all of us are flawed
but i love you.

never let go of
who are you.
it's true, darkly,
beautiful i know.

don't let go.

stay a little bit longer—
i want you to stay stronger.
let's get tougher.
no need to put filters.

and don't tell me you
are nothing and none existing
'cause you are more
than something in my world
that is always spinning:

like a butterfly effect
that i won't forget.

while waiting i'm in
the verge of sleeping.

dried tears in my cheeks
on midnight glimpse.

you're still part of
my prayers and
my 11:11 wishes.
' till my 3:00 a.m thoughts.

truly, life is not what
you want is what you get.

make mistakes
and avoid regrets
'cause mistakes
have lessons to give.

and you are.

i want to go.

nah, I won't let go.
please  hold into.
damn, it hurts
i know you know.

stay by my side,
i need you.

don't let go.

i want to go.

nah, i won't let go.
please hold into.
all of us are flawed
but i love you.

never let go of
who are you.
it's true, darkly ,
beautiful i know.