Save Me

Chapter Fifty One

I stepped back, shaking my head. Derek stared at me with wide eyes. No! No! No! How could this have happened? Oh god!

I covered my mouth with my hand stepping back. Derek just continued to stare at me. Before I could say anything someone walked in the room. I looked behind me to see Krissy standing there. Uh oh. She looked at Derek then back at me. "Whatever." She muttered, walking out. "Krissy!" Derek called, but she ignored him. No! She saw didn't she? Oh god!

I felt like I was gonna throw up.

"Fuck!" I let out a frustrated groan. My hands started to shake, I felt so queasy. How could I be so reckless and let something like this happen? How could I just not know? Oh god! What am I gonna tell Justin? What if Justin finds out before I even get the chance to tell him?!

"Hey!" Derek grabbed my hands, looking me in the eyes. I looked up at him wanting to cry. Looking at Derek, I can already see how heart broken Justin will be. This is his twin brother. His family.. His blood. I let out a shaky breath, sniffling a little. "We aren't gonna tell, Justin." Derek spoke slowly, my eyes went wide as I tried to process what he just said. I backed away from him. "What? Derek! Are you insane? I have to tell him! It was an honest mistake." I started walking towards the door when Derek grabbed my wrist pulling me back.

"What th-" I breathed out, pulling away from him. He ran his fingers through his hair sighing. "If you tell Justin he'll hate me. He'll think I did it on purpose." Derek sat on his bed looking up at me. I adjusted my sweater, wiping my face. "If I don't tell Justin.. He'll hate me even more. You're his brother he can forgive you. I'm just girl.. I can be replaced, you can't." I muttered, looking at the floor. I bit my lip trying to prevent my tears from falling.

"I'm surprised you think that. You're are not just some girl. You're the girl that finally got Justin back on track." Derek said, grabbing my hand. I looked up at him, sniffling. I furrowed my eyebrows sitting next to him. Derek turned towards me scratching his chin. "Justin.. Uh wasn't so down to earth before you and him got together. He uh.. Did things.. He would kill for fun. Justin's killed at least over 50 people. Not all him personally.. But he's behind most of them. He use to do drugs, and hurt himself. When our mom died he just plummeted. And I guess I haven't been doing my share as a brother. You've been there for him. Although he doesn't show his pain, he's most defiantly in pain. He's stopped drugs, he's stopped killing.. That I know of. And ever since he met you he's been trying to make it right. So please give me time to tell him. Please." Derek plead squeezing my hands. I bit the inside of my cheek.

Justin's never shared any of this with me. He did drugs? Killed without reason? I knew about the self harm but I didn't know it went that far back. Oh god.. I've gotta do the right thing..

"Fine... What about Krissy?" I sighed standing up again.

"I'll handle it. Thank you, Minnie. Thank you." Derek hugged me. I squeezed him tight. I hope it's the right thing. I hope he'll tell Justin fast before this eats me alive. I bit my lip pulling away. "I should go find Justin.. Um.. Goodnight Derek." I muttered walking out his suite. I walked towards mine and Justin's suite, only to see him walking in. "Justin.." I sighed, fast walking towards him. "Hey, baby." He laughed, as I hugged him tight. How could I?! How the fuck could I mistake Derek for Justin? It doesn't make sense. Holy fuck! I feel so irritated with myself.

"You okay?" He asked, pulling me inside our suite. He walked towards the kitchen, whistling.

"Yeah." I sighed.

Lie.

I sat down at the breakfast bar, watching Justin work around the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. To think Justin did drugs.. Oh god. I feel like shit right now. I fucking kissed my boyfriends brother and I have to sit here like everything is sunshine, rainbows and lollipops. I can't be the only thing that's helped Justin get himself together. If I am it's gonna make me waiting for Derek to tell Justin so much harder. And why does Derek have to tell Justin? What if he reacts badly because I didn't tell him? I kissed Derek thinking it was Justin. I mean they are identical. Like they could be each other's reflections.