For All That It Takes

CHAPTER 25

"Bigat mo, Kier," angal ko.

Inilalayan ko siya papasok ng unit namin hanggang sa makarating kami sa kwarto. Itinabi ko siya kay Gael na mahimbing pa rin ang tulog sa kama. Napaupo siya kaya inalalayan ko siya pahiga.

Napatigil ako.

I can see his angled brows moving. His forehead's knotting as if something's pissing him. Sa puwesto kong ito ay nakikita ko nang malinaw kung paano gumalaw ang mga iyon.

By chance, I  lifted my hand to touch his face. Dahan-dahan kong iginalaw ang mga daliri ko sa ibabaw ng mukha niya. I can feel his stubbles shaved on his chin. I traced the bridge of his nose down to its tip.

My lips curved to form a gentle smile.

"I'm sorry, Kier... I'm sorry but I have my reasons," I whispered.

Umangat ang baba niya na animo'y naiintindihan ako.

"I want you to know it. Na anak mo si Gael at hindi kay Harold but I'm scared. I'm scared that you'll push my son away because you have your own family to think of," ani ko.

Hanggang ngayon... Hanggang ngayon ay takot pa rin ako.

But I know that deep inside me, I am not afraid only because of that. But with the fact the he don't need me...

Tumayo ako mula sa kama at inangat ang paa niya para isampa ang mga iyon. Ramdam ko ang bigat no'n kahit iyon pa lang. I removed his shoes and put it on the side of the bed. I covered him with the blanket that Gael's using before I stood up and look up to them.

Hindi ko maiwasan ang makaramdam ng saya sa loob-loob ko sa nakikita ko ngayon. If ever Gael's find this out, him sleeping beside his father, I know that my son will be happy. But I'm selfish. Ngunit gusto ko lang ang protektahan ang anak ko.

I went out from the room and decided to stay on the balcony. It was four twenty-six in the afternoon. I roamed my eyes around to look outside. Pasay was good, but I miss Makati. I miss Pai. I miss Justine, my brother.

Mga alas sais na ng gabi nang makarinig ako ng mga yabag galing sa likuran ko. Slowly, I turned my head to see who was it. Agad sumalubong sa akin ang namumungay niyang mga mata at ang magulo niyang buhok.

Lumakad siya papalapit sa akin. Pumihit ako paharap upang titigan ang lugar kaysa sa mukha niya. I just couldn't stand looking at his face for too long due to the guilt that I'm feeling.

Pumuwesto siya sa likuran ko. His height that was towering mine with his gigantic and chiseled body, makes me feel so little and tiny. I could smell his manly perfume mixed with the smell of an alcohol. It was addictively great.

"It's cold here," his flickering voice radiated my hearing.

I could feel my heart beating hastily inside my chest when I heard the tone of his voice.

"I'm fine..." I stated softly.

Narinig kong bumuntong hininga si Kier. Napalingon ako sa likod ko nang marinig ko iyon. I saw him piercing his eyes on me. I got nervous.

"What happened to you, Haier? For those years, what had happened?" The gloomy of his voice awaken my guilt even more.

Muli akong humarap sa harapan. Napakagat labi na lamang ako bago sumagot.

"Many things had changed, Kier," I said. "We had our lives separately for years, the reason why we have our different priorities this present," I was thankful that it was manageable for me to say it.

"Have you been in joy, Haier? Sa mga taon na iyon, naging masaya ka ba?" I could hear him asking me seriously.

Happy? Of course I've been happy. Those days were the days that forever I will be thankful.